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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 760442" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>My daughter does things with a similar vibe. She can be verbally sbusive and everything is clearly my fault in her mind.</p><p>If I text her , I keep them short, helpful and ultra polite.</p><p>If she says something inappropriate to me on the phone, I might “get away” with nicely and firmly saying something like “You misinterpreted that and I don’t care for it when you are sarcastic. I’ll be happy to take care of that for you after 3 pm today when I have more time. I’ll call you back or text you later this afternoon when I’m done. Goodbye .”</p><p>It usually works these days..other times she freaks out. But it OFTEN works.</p><p>our daughter takes her medicine and this is a plus. If she went to therapy too…that might help. Does your daughter do one or both?</p><p>I would avoid speaking about her love life.</p><p>I would not let her be cruel or unkind to you.</p><p>Consider speaking to her like an officer giving out a ticket with a flat affect. No yelling. Use good manners.</p><p>Example:</p><p>” I do not like it when you yell at me and it bothers me so much, I don’t wish to speak with you for two weeks. Let’s speak again after July 7th. Thank you.” Click. Then block her on your phone until July 7. This is just an example ONLY.</p><p>I do find speaking calmly, no yelling, firmly, assertively (but nothing aggressively), using good manners …often …(not always sadly) causes her to stop and listen and do a bit better.</p><p>Especially at your age this is so sad to be in this situation. Please be sure to enjoy yourself with good friends and/or relatives etc. Go to lunch…get a manicure or pedicure. Please don’t overly concerned yourself with her. And don’t let her abuse you. Keep her in the far background. Find joy in life. If you are a spiritual person …visualize her in God’s hands.</p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 760442, member: 4152"] My daughter does things with a similar vibe. She can be verbally sbusive and everything is clearly my fault in her mind. If I text her , I keep them short, helpful and ultra polite. If she says something inappropriate to me on the phone, I might “get away” with nicely and firmly saying something like “You misinterpreted that and I don’t care for it when you are sarcastic. I’ll be happy to take care of that for you after 3 pm today when I have more time. I’ll call you back or text you later this afternoon when I’m done. Goodbye .” It usually works these days..other times she freaks out. But it OFTEN works. our daughter takes her medicine and this is a plus. If she went to therapy too…that might help. Does your daughter do one or both? I would avoid speaking about her love life. I would not let her be cruel or unkind to you. Consider speaking to her like an officer giving out a ticket with a flat affect. No yelling. Use good manners. Example: ” I do not like it when you yell at me and it bothers me so much, I don’t wish to speak with you for two weeks. Let’s speak again after July 7th. Thank you.” Click. Then block her on your phone until July 7. This is just an example ONLY. I do find speaking calmly, no yelling, firmly, assertively (but nothing aggressively), using good manners …often …(not always sadly) causes her to stop and listen and do a bit better. Especially at your age this is so sad to be in this situation. Please be sure to enjoy yourself with good friends and/or relatives etc. Go to lunch…get a manicure or pedicure. Please don’t overly concerned yourself with her. And don’t let her abuse you. Keep her in the far background. Find joy in life. If you are a spiritual person …visualize her in God’s hands. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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