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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713029" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There is nothing you havent tried. In fact in my opinion you are way too soft on him. Clean 30 days means nothing. A year maybe or longer. Maybe he lives on his own from now on. I assume you live where at 16 they can be kicked out.</p><p></p><p>There is always hope someone will change, because if you lose everything its no fun. My daughter quit after she was told to leave and got nothing from us. Not a car. Not a dime. Yes, I felt guilty and cried for three straight weeks, but she quit, even cigarettes. She became different, walking to and from work in Chicagos cold, paying rent to her very straight, no second chances brother who let her live in his basement, cooking and cleaning for him and his tenants, finding a boyfriend who never even tried hard drugs and had a future. She took out a loan and went to a two year college and her and boyfriend bought a house. She had my fabulous granddsughter snd is now a typical stay at home mom at 34.</p><p> They never party. We are very close.</p><p></p><p>At age 19, twelve or so years ago we made her leave with no promise of allowing her to ever come back. She left with nothing because we hoped she would hate drug life enough to quit.</p><p></p><p>That is exactly what happened. "Using drugs was too hard." She dropped all her drug addict friends. She was in another state.</p><p></p><p>So it can happen. But in my opinion they quit once we have the courage to step out and stop enabling them. Yes, it is our natural urge to nurture and help, but in drug addiction, unlike other ilnesses, it doesnt work. Drugs change the brain and no matter how nice they used to be, addiction lets them steal from those who love them, lie, break our hearts, put themselves in constant danger etc. And they can abuse us sometimes. My daughter never did, but many do.</p><p></p><p>So what works for a person with cancer doesnt work for addicts. They need to lose it all...that seems to often trigger a positive change. At least for those who have quit on this forum.</p><p></p><p>I hope this helped and wish you courage, love and light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713029, member: 1550"] There is nothing you havent tried. In fact in my opinion you are way too soft on him. Clean 30 days means nothing. A year maybe or longer. Maybe he lives on his own from now on. I assume you live where at 16 they can be kicked out. There is always hope someone will change, because if you lose everything its no fun. My daughter quit after she was told to leave and got nothing from us. Not a car. Not a dime. Yes, I felt guilty and cried for three straight weeks, but she quit, even cigarettes. She became different, walking to and from work in Chicagos cold, paying rent to her very straight, no second chances brother who let her live in his basement, cooking and cleaning for him and his tenants, finding a boyfriend who never even tried hard drugs and had a future. She took out a loan and went to a two year college and her and boyfriend bought a house. She had my fabulous granddsughter snd is now a typical stay at home mom at 34. They never party. We are very close. At age 19, twelve or so years ago we made her leave with no promise of allowing her to ever come back. She left with nothing because we hoped she would hate drug life enough to quit. That is exactly what happened. "Using drugs was too hard." She dropped all her drug addict friends. She was in another state. So it can happen. But in my opinion they quit once we have the courage to step out and stop enabling them. Yes, it is our natural urge to nurture and help, but in drug addiction, unlike other ilnesses, it doesnt work. Drugs change the brain and no matter how nice they used to be, addiction lets them steal from those who love them, lie, break our hearts, put themselves in constant danger etc. And they can abuse us sometimes. My daughter never did, but many do. So what works for a person with cancer doesnt work for addicts. They need to lose it all...that seems to often trigger a positive change. At least for those who have quit on this forum. I hope this helped and wish you courage, love and light. [/QUOTE]
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