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Parent Emeritus
No word, and feeling worried
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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 739223" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Elsi, I read each and every word you wrote and I have lived it. So sorry you are on this wicked road. I read all the great comments and suggestions but one comment from Tanya stayed with me the most because I have done the same thing, I looked the possibility that my daughter could die right in the face and after I did that I faced my worst fear. The reason we continue to tolerate and put up with our troubled childrens abuse is because we so desperately fear their death. I have buried a son, I know what a childs death feels like, and I must admit that when my daughter was off the rails it felt worse than the death of my sweet son. My daughter is now 36 1/2 all my energy goes into trying to unleash financially from her. For the last few years she did ok paying her bills and trying to keep up, she met her 1/2 a** boyfriend and fell back to square one. I meditated on the fact that her behavior could get her killed and there is nothing I can do about it. I have leaned on God heavily, giving it all to him, trusting him to take care of it, I can't do it alone, when I genuinely let go and let God things got better for her and me. Recently I told my daughter, 'Just because I want great things for you does not mean YOU want great things for you so I am letting go of that too. I know how hard it is to let go but you have to also know some of these troubled kids enjoy giving pain and worry, they actually feel powerful from it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 739223, member: 22416"] Elsi, I read each and every word you wrote and I have lived it. So sorry you are on this wicked road. I read all the great comments and suggestions but one comment from Tanya stayed with me the most because I have done the same thing, I looked the possibility that my daughter could die right in the face and after I did that I faced my worst fear. The reason we continue to tolerate and put up with our troubled childrens abuse is because we so desperately fear their death. I have buried a son, I know what a childs death feels like, and I must admit that when my daughter was off the rails it felt worse than the death of my sweet son. My daughter is now 36 1/2 all my energy goes into trying to unleash financially from her. For the last few years she did ok paying her bills and trying to keep up, she met her 1/2 a** boyfriend and fell back to square one. I meditated on the fact that her behavior could get her killed and there is nothing I can do about it. I have leaned on God heavily, giving it all to him, trusting him to take care of it, I can't do it alone, when I genuinely let go and let God things got better for her and me. Recently I told my daughter, 'Just because I want great things for you does not mean YOU want great things for you so I am letting go of that too. I know how hard it is to let go but you have to also know some of these troubled kids enjoy giving pain and worry, they actually feel powerful from it. [/QUOTE]
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