Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
No word, and feeling worried
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 739224" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>How do I do it? Well, it really comes down to a choice. I made a choice that I would no longer operate my life living in the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). I made a choice to take my life back and live it to fullest.</p><p>Do I still have hope? Yes, however, I do not hang on that hope. I tell people I allow myself 1% of hope. I will never give up hoping that my son will one day make better life choices but I do not wallow in it. I do not let it consume my thoughts every day. There is always hope but our adult children are the ones who have to decide for themselves to make better life choices in how they will live their lives, just as we the parents also have to decide how we will live our lives.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, I have wondered the same thing about my son. What kind of life will he have when he's 40. That's 3 1/2 years away. Bottom line, my son, just as your son, just as many like them will live their lives as they see fit. There will always be programs and facilities to help them but they have to want and accept the help. They have to be willing to put forth the effort to make the changes. We as their parents do them no favors by enabling them. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I too pray that my son will turn things around but I also accept that this may never happen. It is what it is.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Little by little ..... baby steps. You stop your heart from breaking by taking your life back, I mean really taking your life back. Self love is key. Do not confuse self love with being selfish. Self love is taking care of YOU! Self love is taking care of our physical and emotional health. For me, the better choices I make about what I eat have helped me to "feel" better and have more energy. I also do things that bring me joy. </p><p>What are some things that you enjoy doing that you haven't done for a long time? What are some things you have always wanted to do?</p><p>Taking our lives back sometimes means redefining who we are. For so many years we have been defined by our role as "MOM". Yes, we will always be mothers but we are so much more than that. </p><p></p><p>Each day Elsi, do one thing that is just for you. Simple things, buy yourself some flowers, go for a walk in the park, take a drive in the country, rummage through an antique store (one of my favorites), get an ice cream cone, volunteer, take a nap. </p><p>Each day, little by little keep the focus on you. This does not mean that you stop loving your son or daughter, it just means that you are not defining your life by them, you are not allowing them to hold your emotions hostage.</p><p></p><p>I didn't get to this place of acceptance overnight. It took time. Had I found this site all those years ago, I probably would have done it sooner. </p><p>Acceptance also does not mean that I still don't "worry and wonder" I just do not let it consume me. My son will continue to live his life the way he chooses regardless of how I feel about it.</p><p>I choose to live my life to the fullest that I can.</p><p>[ATTACH=full]1043[/ATTACH]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 739224, member: 18516"] How do I do it? Well, it really comes down to a choice. I made a choice that I would no longer operate my life living in the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). I made a choice to take my life back and live it to fullest. Do I still have hope? Yes, however, I do not hang on that hope. I tell people I allow myself 1% of hope. I will never give up hoping that my son will one day make better life choices but I do not wallow in it. I do not let it consume my thoughts every day. There is always hope but our adult children are the ones who have to decide for themselves to make better life choices in how they will live their lives, just as we the parents also have to decide how we will live our lives. Yes, I have wondered the same thing about my son. What kind of life will he have when he's 40. That's 3 1/2 years away. Bottom line, my son, just as your son, just as many like them will live their lives as they see fit. There will always be programs and facilities to help them but they have to want and accept the help. They have to be willing to put forth the effort to make the changes. We as their parents do them no favors by enabling them. I too pray that my son will turn things around but I also accept that this may never happen. It is what it is. Little by little ..... baby steps. You stop your heart from breaking by taking your life back, I mean really taking your life back. Self love is key. Do not confuse self love with being selfish. Self love is taking care of YOU! Self love is taking care of our physical and emotional health. For me, the better choices I make about what I eat have helped me to "feel" better and have more energy. I also do things that bring me joy. What are some things that you enjoy doing that you haven't done for a long time? What are some things you have always wanted to do? Taking our lives back sometimes means redefining who we are. For so many years we have been defined by our role as "MOM". Yes, we will always be mothers but we are so much more than that. Each day Elsi, do one thing that is just for you. Simple things, buy yourself some flowers, go for a walk in the park, take a drive in the country, rummage through an antique store (one of my favorites), get an ice cream cone, volunteer, take a nap. Each day, little by little keep the focus on you. This does not mean that you stop loving your son or daughter, it just means that you are not defining your life by them, you are not allowing them to hold your emotions hostage. I didn't get to this place of acceptance overnight. It took time. Had I found this site all those years ago, I probably would have done it sooner. Acceptance also does not mean that I still don't "worry and wonder" I just do not let it consume me. My son will continue to live his life the way he chooses regardless of how I feel about it. I choose to live my life to the fullest that I can. [ATTACH=full]1043[/ATTACH] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
No word, and feeling worried
Top