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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 739238" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The other side of the coin, is manhood. The only thing that counts here is his relationship in himself, what he decides each minute in terms of how to live.</p><p></p><p>Until he is in integrity with himself he cannot promise you anything, with integrity. That he acknowledges this is meaningful. I see a lot of potential for positive here. He is coming to terms with the power of the addiction, and its hold on him. He may not be ready yet to tackle it but to me it sounds as if he might be close.</p><p></p><p>I am in exactly this situation: my son left our town to go to a large metro. As far as I know he has no friends left who will take him in. I am assuming he is on the street. I will not call him.</p><p> The thing is ANYTHING could happen. Good or bad. But this is ALWAYS the case.</p><p></p><p>For me, what it comes down to is the relationship with myself. How I deal with fear, pain, regret, etc. How I respond, within myself.</p><p></p><p>For me, there is prayer. I dedicate myself to do things that help take my focus away from him, and into myself, where I have a chance at some peace.</p><p></p><p>This will not end soon. It may momentarily get better. You and I will get phone calls. And feel some relief. But there is really no respite from this, except that which we give ourselves by finding support, doing things towards recovery. It is this very same lesson that our sons are learning.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p><p></p><p>Try to do things that will nurture and feed you.</p><p></p><p>I am studying a foreign language, in a community college class online. It is actually mesmerizing. I am filling myself up with learning letters in an alphabet I do not understand and singing children's songs to learn. Please think about a few things you can do for you.</p><p></p><p>Our hearts and minds cannot live in them. We have to find ways to get back into ourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 739238, member: 18958"] The other side of the coin, is manhood. The only thing that counts here is his relationship in himself, what he decides each minute in terms of how to live. Until he is in integrity with himself he cannot promise you anything, with integrity. That he acknowledges this is meaningful. I see a lot of potential for positive here. He is coming to terms with the power of the addiction, and its hold on him. He may not be ready yet to tackle it but to me it sounds as if he might be close. I am in exactly this situation: my son left our town to go to a large metro. As far as I know he has no friends left who will take him in. I am assuming he is on the street. I will not call him. The thing is ANYTHING could happen. Good or bad. But this is ALWAYS the case. For me, what it comes down to is the relationship with myself. How I deal with fear, pain, regret, etc. How I respond, within myself. For me, there is prayer. I dedicate myself to do things that help take my focus away from him, and into myself, where I have a chance at some peace. This will not end soon. It may momentarily get better. You and I will get phone calls. And feel some relief. But there is really no respite from this, except that which we give ourselves by finding support, doing things towards recovery. It is this very same lesson that our sons are learning. Take care. Try to do things that will nurture and feed you. I am studying a foreign language, in a community college class online. It is actually mesmerizing. I am filling myself up with learning letters in an alphabet I do not understand and singing children's songs to learn. Please think about a few things you can do for you. Our hearts and minds cannot live in them. We have to find ways to get back into ourselves. [/QUOTE]
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