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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 582733" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I'm so sorry Zardo. Over the past three years since difficult child was first arrested for pot/underage drinking and through her stays in rehab and sober houses and relapses and listening to soooo many stories in AA meetings and my parent support group, I have come to realize that most people do not stop using after the first time the get in trouble, or the second or third. It often takes many relpases and consequences before they are finally ready to accept the changes that they need to make, for them to give up the idea that they can use just a little and that it is OK and noone's business but theirs. We were told in rehab that it usually takes seven relapses before the person stays sober, and some never do.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had better news or could give you more hope but you are doing the right thing by making him face the consequences and supporting him getting help. In our support group we have many recovering addicts that come with their parents and they all say that until they decided to finally get clean and sober nothing anyone did could change that, not their parents or the courts or anyone. The consequences your son is given along with maturity may bring him to the point where he wants to change, but he has to want to do it for himself, not because someone makes him. Right now he is not convinced that his drug use/selling is a problem. You may have a few more rough years before he sees it differently.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 582733, member: 59"] I'm so sorry Zardo. Over the past three years since difficult child was first arrested for pot/underage drinking and through her stays in rehab and sober houses and relapses and listening to soooo many stories in AA meetings and my parent support group, I have come to realize that most people do not stop using after the first time the get in trouble, or the second or third. It often takes many relpases and consequences before they are finally ready to accept the changes that they need to make, for them to give up the idea that they can use just a little and that it is OK and noone's business but theirs. We were told in rehab that it usually takes seven relapses before the person stays sober, and some never do. I wish I had better news or could give you more hope but you are doing the right thing by making him face the consequences and supporting him getting help. In our support group we have many recovering addicts that come with their parents and they all say that until they decided to finally get clean and sober nothing anyone did could change that, not their parents or the courts or anyone. The consequences your son is given along with maturity may bring him to the point where he wants to change, but he has to want to do it for himself, not because someone makes him. Right now he is not convinced that his drug use/selling is a problem. You may have a few more rough years before he sees it differently. [/QUOTE]
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