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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 711767" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Hi and welcome, IGU!</p><p></p><p>The problem is, your daughter doesn't FEEL gratitude for the things that you do for her.</p><p></p><p>In fact, she probably resents you for doing those things, even if she asks for them.</p><p></p><p>It is unnatural for a middle-aged adult to be dependent on their parents. It is more natural for an adult rapidly approaching forty to start feeling concern for the aging parent.</p><p></p><p>Things are backwards here, and she knows it.</p><p></p><p>We have had many people (usually mothers) who decry their poor treatment at the hands of an adult child that they do everything for, and marvel at the comparatively better treatment the other parent receives, who does little to nothing for the adult child. </p><p></p><p>The adult child knows they can't walk all over that other parent without consequences, so they have stopped trying. That other parent demands respect, so they often get it (or have nothing much to do with the person who treats them badly).</p><p></p><p>You need to change the way you respond to your daughter.</p><p></p><p>Stop giving her money, cars, and attention for bad behavior. Stop trying to buy her love and respect. </p><p></p><p>Live your life to the fullest.</p><p></p><p>Go take care of you. </p><p></p><p>Take up a new hobby, or start up one you used to love.</p><p></p><p>Make new friendships, or renew some old ones that have been neglected.</p><p></p><p>Go get a massage, a facial, a new hair cut or color, or a new outfit.</p><p></p><p>Start planning a trip or day excursion to somewhere you would like to visit.</p><p></p><p>Think about rearranging your furniture, painting a room, getting a new comforter for the bed.</p><p></p><p>Do things you enjoy, whatever that may be.</p><p></p><p>Let your daughter live her own life, and she will come to you.</p><p></p><p>Make sure it is on your terms.</p><p></p><p>Stay with us and post, IGU. You may not be ready to change your life yet, but you will understand where we are coming from if you stick around and stay involved. And maybe you can help someone else in a similar situation.</p><p></p><p>Apple</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 711767, member: 16024"] Hi and welcome, IGU! The problem is, your daughter doesn't FEEL gratitude for the things that you do for her. In fact, she probably resents you for doing those things, even if she asks for them. It is unnatural for a middle-aged adult to be dependent on their parents. It is more natural for an adult rapidly approaching forty to start feeling concern for the aging parent. Things are backwards here, and she knows it. We have had many people (usually mothers) who decry their poor treatment at the hands of an adult child that they do everything for, and marvel at the comparatively better treatment the other parent receives, who does little to nothing for the adult child. The adult child knows they can't walk all over that other parent without consequences, so they have stopped trying. That other parent demands respect, so they often get it (or have nothing much to do with the person who treats them badly). You need to change the way you respond to your daughter. Stop giving her money, cars, and attention for bad behavior. Stop trying to buy her love and respect. Live your life to the fullest. Go take care of you. Take up a new hobby, or start up one you used to love. Make new friendships, or renew some old ones that have been neglected. Go get a massage, a facial, a new hair cut or color, or a new outfit. Start planning a trip or day excursion to somewhere you would like to visit. Think about rearranging your furniture, painting a room, getting a new comforter for the bed. Do things you enjoy, whatever that may be. Let your daughter live her own life, and she will come to you. Make sure it is on your terms. Stay with us and post, IGU. You may not be ready to change your life yet, but you will understand where we are coming from if you stick around and stay involved. And maybe you can help someone else in a similar situation. Apple [/QUOTE]
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