I don't even know if I'm spelling that correctly and considering the way things have been going probably not...
I was I was "Liz The Hopeful"... truely I should have posted as Liz the Hopeless. Because that's how things are feeling... I am a 47 year old single mother of a 23 year old meth head. difficult child? GFC? I can't even remember.. I've been reading other people's posts since Friday and I'm not feeling very hopeful.
Latest? After 10 years of one thing after the next? I went to visit my daughter in Texas where she was living with her Dad (she had flunked out of a private out of state college 200k later)... when I saw her she had sores all over her body and it was obvious she was up to no good... HELLO,...! She looked like the POSTER CHILD for a meth addict!! HOW did her Dad not notice this??!! He's at the poverty line (not that it's an excuse) and is busy meeting ends while raising a 4 year old. WHY isn't she living with me? Honestly because at the time she flunked out of school(which I paid for solo) she had pulled so much bs that I RESENTED this kid to the Nth DEGREE!!!
Well.... she continued to do her thing. In the year she was at her Dad's I bought her a car to get back and forth to work... when I went to deliver the car after a 2 day road trip there was a 35 year old boyfriend that looked like he should work at a CARNIVAL! AND YES!! her DAD was letting him stay there with her!! I lost it! Put the car into storage and got on my flight a day later. Didn't give her the car until the CARNIE was out of the picture. How did he get out of the picture? They got "physical" according to her dad. He's an idiot.
Soool... Went 3 weeks ago for a "fun filled mommy- daughter weekend" only to find what looked like a crack ***** instead of my daughter. Went insane... worst weekend of my life. Her dad insisted that she was going to turn things around. Fortunately ? she was due to come for a visit here with me this past weekend. Showed up looking as bad if not worse. Clothes falling off of her... sores as big as a half dollar. If I could drop f bombs all over the place and peel my chest open to show you my barely beating heart I would...
We had 3 days of me walking on eggshells until I could convince her to go into rehab. Long story short (and it's a hell of a story) she took off and is in another state considering coming back here to rehab.
Why am I posting tonight? Honestly... because I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and want someone besides my husband and friends (who ALSO resent her for hurting me nonstop for 10 years) to feel sorry for me? Is it too late for an abortion? Because she is killing me!!1
