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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 679240" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Take it from someone with several autoimmune illnesses...Lupus and so forth...the body canNOT tolerate this type of stress on a frequent basis. You have said "I feel like dying" or something similar, more than once. What type of message might this be giving to your immune system, your very cells? Sounds sort of mumbo jumbo, but I believe scientists have and continue to discover a direct link medically between the body and mind. Not only what damage it might be doing to you physically, but very obviously mentally. Just like we tell our Difficult Child to take responsibility for their thoughts, actions, choices, reactions....I believe we too as parents have to model this very same thing and protect our physical and mental health by setting boundaries, removing ourselves from excessive stressors, taking breaks (sometimes very long ones), adopting a new attitude...etc.</p><p></p><p>I can give you a small, indirect example. Our Difficult Child can't budget her food (although it has gotten a tiny bit better recently). When we would go out of town, she inevitably would call us hysterically that she was starving and would beg for us to help her and would actually threaten to beg on the streets. Years ago, this bothered me terribly. Today, if we are going out of town for a long time, I give her a little gc to the food store and tell her it is for emergencies only. She has a system in place for food. Chances are she will use the small gc unwisely. I don't care. And she would call with the same begging and hysteria. But, it didn't work. I did a little something for her (giving her a small gc for emergencies and that was all I was going to do...I did extra...there is no more than extra). And that was all I would do. I set my boundary in several ways. I drew the line. No matter what hysterics took place, it went in one ear and out the other. Peace...for myself. I suppose, chaos for her. Learn or not learn,I didn't and don't care. So, she became acquainted with the food bank. Good for her. I don't care. Free at last, free at last. Thank G.d I'm free at last. Besides me finding peace, she is actually doing a little better in this department.</p><p></p><p>This story might not fully apply in your case. Your situation does sound complicated. But I hope you can free yourself emotionally from this torment. And please take ultra good care of yourself..all the usual stuff...healthy foods, vitamins and so forth.</p><p></p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 679240, member: 4152"] Take it from someone with several autoimmune illnesses...Lupus and so forth...the body canNOT tolerate this type of stress on a frequent basis. You have said "I feel like dying" or something similar, more than once. What type of message might this be giving to your immune system, your very cells? Sounds sort of mumbo jumbo, but I believe scientists have and continue to discover a direct link medically between the body and mind. Not only what damage it might be doing to you physically, but very obviously mentally. Just like we tell our Difficult Child to take responsibility for their thoughts, actions, choices, reactions....I believe we too as parents have to model this very same thing and protect our physical and mental health by setting boundaries, removing ourselves from excessive stressors, taking breaks (sometimes very long ones), adopting a new attitude...etc. I can give you a small, indirect example. Our Difficult Child can't budget her food (although it has gotten a tiny bit better recently). When we would go out of town, she inevitably would call us hysterically that she was starving and would beg for us to help her and would actually threaten to beg on the streets. Years ago, this bothered me terribly. Today, if we are going out of town for a long time, I give her a little gc to the food store and tell her it is for emergencies only. She has a system in place for food. Chances are she will use the small gc unwisely. I don't care. And she would call with the same begging and hysteria. But, it didn't work. I did a little something for her (giving her a small gc for emergencies and that was all I was going to do...I did extra...there is no more than extra). And that was all I would do. I set my boundary in several ways. I drew the line. No matter what hysterics took place, it went in one ear and out the other. Peace...for myself. I suppose, chaos for her. Learn or not learn,I didn't and don't care. So, she became acquainted with the food bank. Good for her. I don't care. Free at last, free at last. Thank G.d I'm free at last. Besides me finding peace, she is actually doing a little better in this department. This story might not fully apply in your case. Your situation does sound complicated. But I hope you can free yourself emotionally from this torment. And please take ultra good care of yourself..all the usual stuff...healthy foods, vitamins and so forth. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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