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Parent Emeritus
Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 679255" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I will check out the FOO thread when I can. Interesting. It is a HUGE thread. I was at a social event and bumped into a childhood friend, who is a physician. His father and my father were best friends. My father was a narcissist supreme. His father had some major personality disorder...don't know which one. He looked at me and said "Let's face it...our father's were dogs! " he then said he didn't realize it until he was an adult how badly his father's behaviors negatively influenced him. Holy cow...for me as well. My father, the big narcissist, led me to believe that everything that went wrong in his life, the family life, perhaps the universe, was MY fault. Say what? I can't control HIS behaviors. His choices, decisions,reactions, actions, lack of actions. He was the adult, I the child. Perhaps in some small way, due to having to take care of a young child, at times, a parent has to tweak their choices for the good of the child. True. But, that is about it. I was not responsible for HIM. Perhaps Copa, you think that you are ultimately responsible for your son. But, your son is not a little child. Even if he were,that would be debatable. He is a full grown man. Don't let him manipulate you. Maybe your mom was an expert in that crxp. I know my father was. Took me decades to sort that insanity out and I'm still working it out a bit here and there. </p><p>Stay strong. you are caring, capable, brilliant and you will figure out what is right for you and your situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 679255, member: 4152"] I will check out the FOO thread when I can. Interesting. It is a HUGE thread. I was at a social event and bumped into a childhood friend, who is a physician. His father and my father were best friends. My father was a narcissist supreme. His father had some major personality disorder...don't know which one. He looked at me and said "Let's face it...our father's were dogs! " he then said he didn't realize it until he was an adult how badly his father's behaviors negatively influenced him. Holy cow...for me as well. My father, the big narcissist, led me to believe that everything that went wrong in his life, the family life, perhaps the universe, was MY fault. Say what? I can't control HIS behaviors. His choices, decisions,reactions, actions, lack of actions. He was the adult, I the child. Perhaps in some small way, due to having to take care of a young child, at times, a parent has to tweak their choices for the good of the child. True. But, that is about it. I was not responsible for HIM. Perhaps Copa, you think that you are ultimately responsible for your son. But, your son is not a little child. Even if he were,that would be debatable. He is a full grown man. Don't let him manipulate you. Maybe your mom was an expert in that crxp. I know my father was. Took me decades to sort that insanity out and I'm still working it out a bit here and there. Stay strong. you are caring, capable, brilliant and you will figure out what is right for you and your situation. [/QUOTE]
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