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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 679414" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am going to take a chance. Just once. You may disregard this entire post and I will never bring it up to you again. You seem to totally reject it and that is your choice. You would feel far less guilty though if you at least consider it.</p><p></p><p>Twin studies repeatedly show that nature is more powerful than nurture. Not 100 percent of course. But identicle twins seperated at birth who knew nothing about one anothers existance at one time tend to be eerily alike. I was at the library today reading a true story about two adopted korean twins seperated at birth who connected by accident. The book went into them, twin studies and the importance of dna.</p><p></p><p>Your son is a victim in a way. He had a god awful start before he was even born. Genetically his parents were pretty nonproductive. I am sure your love and education impacted him positively.but he does not have your dna and as an adult he is not like you were/are. It is not all his fault although his choices certainly are his own. Perhaps the drugs he ingested prebirth and dna are a big reason why he cant seem to get it together. It certainly isnt your fault. You gave him every chance. He just didnt use the gifts as you would have done and in fact did. Maybe he cant. Maybe he isnt interested. So hard to say except that you got him after his birth parents had already damaged him. To what extent, he was never tested to find out. But you did not harm him.they did.</p><p>I hate when you blame yourself. You did nothing but love him and try to make up for his bad start. His life is his own. You need not feel bad that he is unwilling or unable or both to live normally nor appreciate all you have done.</p><p>I send my love, hope this helps and will never discuss it with you again. But it came from the heart. We adore our adopted kids. We would die for them. But their dna is not ours. It makes sense when often they are different adults than us.</p><p>You do deserve a great life no matter how your son behaves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 679414, member: 1550"] I am going to take a chance. Just once. You may disregard this entire post and I will never bring it up to you again. You seem to totally reject it and that is your choice. You would feel far less guilty though if you at least consider it. Twin studies repeatedly show that nature is more powerful than nurture. Not 100 percent of course. But identicle twins seperated at birth who knew nothing about one anothers existance at one time tend to be eerily alike. I was at the library today reading a true story about two adopted korean twins seperated at birth who connected by accident. The book went into them, twin studies and the importance of dna. Your son is a victim in a way. He had a god awful start before he was even born. Genetically his parents were pretty nonproductive. I am sure your love and education impacted him positively.but he does not have your dna and as an adult he is not like you were/are. It is not all his fault although his choices certainly are his own. Perhaps the drugs he ingested prebirth and dna are a big reason why he cant seem to get it together. It certainly isnt your fault. You gave him every chance. He just didnt use the gifts as you would have done and in fact did. Maybe he cant. Maybe he isnt interested. So hard to say except that you got him after his birth parents had already damaged him. To what extent, he was never tested to find out. But you did not harm him.they did. I hate when you blame yourself. You did nothing but love him and try to make up for his bad start. His life is his own. You need not feel bad that he is unwilling or unable or both to live normally nor appreciate all you have done. I send my love, hope this helps and will never discuss it with you again. But it came from the heart. We adore our adopted kids. We would die for them. But their dna is not ours. It makes sense when often they are different adults than us. You do deserve a great life no matter how your son behaves. [/QUOTE]
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