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Now he's STEALING!?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 714780" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I would get rid of ALL screens for this child. I do mean ALL screens, at least for a couple of months. I know many think I was too strict with my kids, but now my kids don't. My stance was this: If a game or tv show is so important that my child would steal, lie or cheat to get it, then that item has become FAR too important to my child. That item MUST GO. It, and all screens, became off limits for my child for the forseeable future. I would not say they were gone for a week, or a month, just that they were gone. I wouldn't even let my husband be on the computer or tv around the kids. He had to wait until they were in bed.</p><p></p><p>The first few days were horrendous. Tantrums, screaming, truly horrible behavior. It gradually got better until by about day 10 the withdrawal was over. It seriously was withdrawal in my opinion. By the end of the 2nd week, I saw my kids' imaginations returning. They were reading more, playing more, using their brains more. They had to. The only reaction the phrase "I'm bored" ever got in our home was a chore. I was not put on earth to be an entertainer. </p><p></p><p>I was also very strict about stealing. The item got returned AND paid for. So the child was out of the money AND the item. If the child refused or could not pay, then the law could deal with him. I think that maybe you need to have your son do a Scared Straight type program where he goes to tour a jail if he thinks that this is okay and he can behave this way. I don't know if it will help, but you need to be a lot more strict with him. It isn't just about therapy, there have to be some logical consequences to his actions.</p><p></p><p>How does he intend to pay for his games? What work does he intend to do to pay for his almost $300 in games? Do you have a yard or know anyone with a yard? That game system or computer needs to be locked up in a closet or trunk, or maybe taken to a pawn shop and sold to pay the credit card bill for the games he charged. Let him see that the bill has to be paid and he has to sell his game system and some of his other games and movies and other possessions and also he has to go and rake the yard after it is cut and do other hard work to pay that bill. If he won't work, more of his stuff has to be sold. If he likes to look nice, take his favorite clothes to a consignment store to see if someone will buy them. </p><p></p><p>I am NOT joking. He MUST learn that the bill needs to be paid - he doesn't need to know that you got the company to forgive it. HE is on the hook for that money because HE incurred the debt. If he thinks the company forgave the debt, he will keep on doing this. He needs firm consequences and paying off a debt is the hardest part of the lesson. Especially if he doesn't get to keep it. </p><p></p><p>I can tell you that this approach worked on my hard-headed oldest son. Getting him to work off such a large debt at such a young age is tough, but worth it. It will teach him a lesson, and that you are more stubborn than he is. Don't tell him you will make him do it if you won't follow through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 714780, member: 1233"] I would get rid of ALL screens for this child. I do mean ALL screens, at least for a couple of months. I know many think I was too strict with my kids, but now my kids don't. My stance was this: If a game or tv show is so important that my child would steal, lie or cheat to get it, then that item has become FAR too important to my child. That item MUST GO. It, and all screens, became off limits for my child for the forseeable future. I would not say they were gone for a week, or a month, just that they were gone. I wouldn't even let my husband be on the computer or tv around the kids. He had to wait until they were in bed. The first few days were horrendous. Tantrums, screaming, truly horrible behavior. It gradually got better until by about day 10 the withdrawal was over. It seriously was withdrawal in my opinion. By the end of the 2nd week, I saw my kids' imaginations returning. They were reading more, playing more, using their brains more. They had to. The only reaction the phrase "I'm bored" ever got in our home was a chore. I was not put on earth to be an entertainer. I was also very strict about stealing. The item got returned AND paid for. So the child was out of the money AND the item. If the child refused or could not pay, then the law could deal with him. I think that maybe you need to have your son do a Scared Straight type program where he goes to tour a jail if he thinks that this is okay and he can behave this way. I don't know if it will help, but you need to be a lot more strict with him. It isn't just about therapy, there have to be some logical consequences to his actions. How does he intend to pay for his games? What work does he intend to do to pay for his almost $300 in games? Do you have a yard or know anyone with a yard? That game system or computer needs to be locked up in a closet or trunk, or maybe taken to a pawn shop and sold to pay the credit card bill for the games he charged. Let him see that the bill has to be paid and he has to sell his game system and some of his other games and movies and other possessions and also he has to go and rake the yard after it is cut and do other hard work to pay that bill. If he won't work, more of his stuff has to be sold. If he likes to look nice, take his favorite clothes to a consignment store to see if someone will buy them. I am NOT joking. He MUST learn that the bill needs to be paid - he doesn't need to know that you got the company to forgive it. HE is on the hook for that money because HE incurred the debt. If he thinks the company forgave the debt, he will keep on doing this. He needs firm consequences and paying off a debt is the hardest part of the lesson. Especially if he doesn't get to keep it. I can tell you that this approach worked on my hard-headed oldest son. Getting him to work off such a large debt at such a young age is tough, but worth it. It will teach him a lesson, and that you are more stubborn than he is. Don't tell him you will make him do it if you won't follow through. [/QUOTE]
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