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Parent Emeritus
Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712477" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You know, i agree with KSM. Although the crisis worker is being kind about your daughter, it wont help your daughter or your other loved ones one bit if you get sick over a situation you have NO control over.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter IS playing games with both of you. She already knows she can leave and come home or go to a shelter. She doesnt need to text you and stress you out when she seems to have no intention of leaving. Have you seen bruises? Black eyes? Maybe she is being verbally abused but nobody but her can stop it. She needs to make up her own mind.</p><p></p><p>If you end up long term disabled or dead because of stress, then what will she do? Something seems out of kilter here. I personally think you need to back off because what you are doing is not helping her and you are not well.</p><p></p><p>You cant intervene as they are both considered consenting adults. I feel it is appropriate to firmly tell your daughter,"You can come home, and I love you, but unless you move out of there, I cant help you and no longer want to hear details. It makes me too stressed out." Then dont respond to teary texts sbout how she wants to come home. She doesnt mean it or she can. And would.</p><p></p><p>Abused women, like drug addicts, can only be helped by one person...that person is them. Your worry helps her not a bit.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and hoping you will take the focus off her and onto yourself. Repeat to self:"There is NOTHING I can do." And there isnt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712477, member: 1550"] You know, i agree with KSM. Although the crisis worker is being kind about your daughter, it wont help your daughter or your other loved ones one bit if you get sick over a situation you have NO control over. Your daughter IS playing games with both of you. She already knows she can leave and come home or go to a shelter. She doesnt need to text you and stress you out when she seems to have no intention of leaving. Have you seen bruises? Black eyes? Maybe she is being verbally abused but nobody but her can stop it. She needs to make up her own mind. If you end up long term disabled or dead because of stress, then what will she do? Something seems out of kilter here. I personally think you need to back off because what you are doing is not helping her and you are not well. You cant intervene as they are both considered consenting adults. I feel it is appropriate to firmly tell your daughter,"You can come home, and I love you, but unless you move out of there, I cant help you and no longer want to hear details. It makes me too stressed out." Then dont respond to teary texts sbout how she wants to come home. She doesnt mean it or she can. And would. Abused women, like drug addicts, can only be helped by one person...that person is them. Your worry helps her not a bit. Hugs and hoping you will take the focus off her and onto yourself. Repeat to self:"There is NOTHING I can do." And there isnt. [/QUOTE]
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Now that I kicked my 18 year old daughter out, where do I go from here?
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