Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
On pins and needles...authorities are closing in
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 654559" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>And I believe this is true.</p><p></p><p>For us, for the moms, the hard part is determining which is the best response, which are the positions we believe will be best in the long run. You are doing the right thing Weary, from anything I know from my own experience. It helped me to know that our kids will up the ante when we say no. It helped me to expect that escalation to happen. When it did, I was not lost in guilt. I had that little piece of truth that someone here told me: That my child's behaviors would escalate until she got me to do what she wanted.</p><p></p><p>So I could hang on.</p><p></p><p>You are doing well, I think.</p><p></p><p>I know it is so hard.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think this is true. She is learning, the hard way, how her choices change who she is. If she can see that clearly enough, perhaps she will make different kinds of choices in future.</p><p></p><p>They do love us. We do love them. That seems to be the only thing that doesn't change.</p><p></p><p>One time, I was certain we were losing my daughter. All at once, none of the bad things mattered. It was just such a joy to hear her voice, to have had her in my life, all the good and the bad of it. For me, detachment is about doing the right thing as best I can figure it out.</p><p></p><p>It has nothing to do with turning away from my children. It has mostly to do with being as honest as I can with them. Now I know it is best for them to face the consequences of their choices as soon as possible. <em>Why else would they change their life paths?</em></p><p></p><p>So that is what I do, and that is what I try to remember, and to use as my guiding principle, when I talk to them.</p><p></p><p>Well, to my daughter or grands because, once again, my son is not speaking to me.</p><p></p><p>For heaven's sake.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 654559, member: 17461"] And I believe this is true. For us, for the moms, the hard part is determining which is the best response, which are the positions we believe will be best in the long run. You are doing the right thing Weary, from anything I know from my own experience. It helped me to know that our kids will up the ante when we say no. It helped me to expect that escalation to happen. When it did, I was not lost in guilt. I had that little piece of truth that someone here told me: That my child's behaviors would escalate until she got me to do what she wanted. So I could hang on. You are doing well, I think. I know it is so hard. I am sorry this is happening. I think this is true. She is learning, the hard way, how her choices change who she is. If she can see that clearly enough, perhaps she will make different kinds of choices in future. They do love us. We do love them. That seems to be the only thing that doesn't change. One time, I was certain we were losing my daughter. All at once, none of the bad things mattered. It was just such a joy to hear her voice, to have had her in my life, all the good and the bad of it. For me, detachment is about doing the right thing as best I can figure it out. It has nothing to do with turning away from my children. It has mostly to do with being as honest as I can with them. Now I know it is best for them to face the consequences of their choices as soon as possible. [I]Why else would they change their life paths?[/I] So that is what I do, and that is what I try to remember, and to use as my guiding principle, when I talk to them. Well, to my daughter or grands because, once again, my son is not speaking to me. For heaven's sake. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
On pins and needles...authorities are closing in
Top