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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
One of us is nuts, is it him or me (or both).
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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 13020" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>CAMom, here's the link to a thread we have in the PE archives. It will give you ideas on how you can respond to your difficult child without getting sucked into the drama. I think I mention in the thread that I kept a written list of these replies by the phone to remind me of what to say and how to NOT be Rob's dumping ground when he called. It really, really helped.</p><p></p><p>Another thought is that Rob had an outstanding therapist at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so any time he had a complaint I would say, "I'm sorry to hear that, Honey. Be sure to talk to Mimi (the therapist) about it so you two can figure out a solution." That worked like a charm because I could give sympathy AND redirect him to where he should be unloading and problem-solving, with his therapist.</p><p></p><p>You difficult child's situation is somewhat different from Rob's but it took Rob almost 6 months to earn a home pass because of his refusal to do what was necessary to make level. We only provided necessities during that time. HOWEVER, once he started doing the right thing, we did do little rewards. That's the "Do To Get" philosophy. Your difficult child is not doing what he needs to do right now.....I wouldn't "get" him anything until he does and even then, I would go small.</p><p></p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 13020, member: 29"] CAMom, here's the link to a thread we have in the PE archives. It will give you ideas on how you can respond to your difficult child without getting sucked into the drama. I think I mention in the thread that I kept a written list of these replies by the phone to remind me of what to say and how to NOT be Rob's dumping ground when he called. It really, really helped. Another thought is that Rob had an outstanding therapist at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so any time he had a complaint I would say, "I'm sorry to hear that, Honey. Be sure to talk to Mimi (the therapist) about it so you two can figure out a solution." That worked like a charm because I could give sympathy AND redirect him to where he should be unloading and problem-solving, with his therapist. You difficult child's situation is somewhat different from Rob's but it took Rob almost 6 months to earn a home pass because of his refusal to do what was necessary to make level. We only provided necessities during that time. HOWEVER, once he started doing the right thing, we did do little rewards. That's the "Do To Get" philosophy. Your difficult child is not doing what he needs to do right now.....I wouldn't "get" him anything until he does and even then, I would go small. Suz [/QUOTE]
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One of us is nuts, is it him or me (or both).
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