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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 759965" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>BusyNMember, I do get what you are saying. I also have to add that I do have some ok time with my daughter when she is not manic. Is that small amount of 'ok' time worth the grief she puts me through? Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. She puts effort into coming by once or twice a week to do a family activity and sometimes we enjoy her, then again only when she is not manic. OFF/ON. As long as she is living in my rent home I will pry into her financial business because if it gets real bad I can start making other plans for our rent home. My daughter only has a few more years on the house to have it paid off in full, and when that comes I will not give a S about her finances. Since she makes an effort to come by and somedays she is bearable it gives me a little something to sit on. Sometimes I wonder if it would easier if she was horrible all the time without some peppered specks of ok-ness. I have tried several times to get her out of my life and that seems to be harder on me..</p><p>I am looking at her through 'mother eyes'. I would not tolerate anyone ever that treated me that way. There are times that I think she genuinely loves me and just like that, when the switch turns she hates me, it is the nature of the illness. My friends that have daughters go to Dr appointments together, no matter what the age. My friends that have daughters hang out with each other and do fun shopping things together on an everyday basis. My own daughter calls me at least twice a day or texts. My workout partner and her grown daughter do something together everyday. If my mother lived close and was still alive I would do something with her or communicate with her daily.</p><p></p><p>I have read the detachment post on here several times and I have it copied and read it regularly. I have not read the book Radical acceptance. I understand fully that she will not change unless she is ready and ONLY when she is ready if ever.</p><p>I once had a therapist that told me her mother was a narcissist. I asked her why she is still in communication with her mother and she said it is because of the tiny time she is ok. That is it for me too, for the small amount of ok time. I come on here to air out my feelings and to learn. Each situation is different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 759965, member: 22416"] BusyNMember, I do get what you are saying. I also have to add that I do have some ok time with my daughter when she is not manic. Is that small amount of 'ok' time worth the grief she puts me through? Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. She puts effort into coming by once or twice a week to do a family activity and sometimes we enjoy her, then again only when she is not manic. OFF/ON. As long as she is living in my rent home I will pry into her financial business because if it gets real bad I can start making other plans for our rent home. My daughter only has a few more years on the house to have it paid off in full, and when that comes I will not give a S about her finances. Since she makes an effort to come by and somedays she is bearable it gives me a little something to sit on. Sometimes I wonder if it would easier if she was horrible all the time without some peppered specks of ok-ness. I have tried several times to get her out of my life and that seems to be harder on me.. I am looking at her through 'mother eyes'. I would not tolerate anyone ever that treated me that way. There are times that I think she genuinely loves me and just like that, when the switch turns she hates me, it is the nature of the illness. My friends that have daughters go to Dr appointments together, no matter what the age. My friends that have daughters hang out with each other and do fun shopping things together on an everyday basis. My own daughter calls me at least twice a day or texts. My workout partner and her grown daughter do something together everyday. If my mother lived close and was still alive I would do something with her or communicate with her daily. I have read the detachment post on here several times and I have it copied and read it regularly. I have not read the book Radical acceptance. I understand fully that she will not change unless she is ready and ONLY when she is ready if ever. I once had a therapist that told me her mother was a narcissist. I asked her why she is still in communication with her mother and she said it is because of the tiny time she is ok. That is it for me too, for the small amount of ok time. I come on here to air out my feelings and to learn. Each situation is different. [/QUOTE]
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