Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Opening my eyes
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 612753" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart. Have you thought that he may be doing drugs? That would be my guess. It is certainly a reason why he would sleep all day. Also, kids change a lot and become lazy and disrespectful and even violent while taking drugs. </p><p></p><p>It may be helpful to get some answers. Sadly, to do so we usually need to snoop in the adult child's room, check Facebook, his computer and when you check out the room be sure to look in odd places where you may find hidden goodies that he hopes you won't see. Expect him to be indignant that you have "invaded my privacy!" But our grown kids who seem to be in a bad place can not be helped if we don't even know why they are behaving the way they are. Once we know, then we can make thoughtful choices about how to handle it.</p><p></p><p>It is normal for us to take on emotions because of our grown children, but feeling hopeless because of the life your adult child has chosen won't help him and will harm YOU and YOU and your health, mental well being, and quality of life are as valuable as his. You must have well functioning people in your life that you can enjoy and you should! Your life should not stop because your son is making poor choices.</p><p></p><p>You might want to read up on detachment. The day may come when you decide he is too hard to have at home and that he either follows your rules or has to leave. Most often, they choose to leave, especially if they are on drugs and you insist they go to rehab in order to live in your house. None of this is your fault nor can you change whatever his problems turn out to be. You can offer help in case he decides he wants to change, but you can not make him change. There is only one person on earth you can change and control and that is yourself. </p><p></p><p>If you haven't read the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie, I highly recommend it. You may want to fill us in more on what is going on with your son so we have a clearer picture and can give better support to you, but that is your decision. We are here to support you regardless.</p><p></p><p>This is a difficult journey, but we are all supporting one another and getting through it together and you can too. Best of all, we are here 24/7 and you can post at any time. Somebody will usually be around to be there for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 612753, member: 1550"] I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart. Have you thought that he may be doing drugs? That would be my guess. It is certainly a reason why he would sleep all day. Also, kids change a lot and become lazy and disrespectful and even violent while taking drugs. It may be helpful to get some answers. Sadly, to do so we usually need to snoop in the adult child's room, check Facebook, his computer and when you check out the room be sure to look in odd places where you may find hidden goodies that he hopes you won't see. Expect him to be indignant that you have "invaded my privacy!" But our grown kids who seem to be in a bad place can not be helped if we don't even know why they are behaving the way they are. Once we know, then we can make thoughtful choices about how to handle it. It is normal for us to take on emotions because of our grown children, but feeling hopeless because of the life your adult child has chosen won't help him and will harm YOU and YOU and your health, mental well being, and quality of life are as valuable as his. You must have well functioning people in your life that you can enjoy and you should! Your life should not stop because your son is making poor choices. You might want to read up on detachment. The day may come when you decide he is too hard to have at home and that he either follows your rules or has to leave. Most often, they choose to leave, especially if they are on drugs and you insist they go to rehab in order to live in your house. None of this is your fault nor can you change whatever his problems turn out to be. You can offer help in case he decides he wants to change, but you can not make him change. There is only one person on earth you can change and control and that is yourself. If you haven't read the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie, I highly recommend it. You may want to fill us in more on what is going on with your son so we have a clearer picture and can give better support to you, but that is your decision. We are here to support you regardless. This is a difficult journey, but we are all supporting one another and getting through it together and you can too. Best of all, we are here 24/7 and you can post at any time. Somebody will usually be around to be there for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Opening my eyes
Top