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opinions about no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 746924" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Acacia, You can only do what your heart allows you to do. I know how hard this is for you to do because I have done it. It took me about 5 years of total abuse to be able to go NO contact for 3 months. I went to therapy with my daughter, my daughter was acting very belligerent and therapist was getting nervous, therapist told me to not go NO contact, my heart told me to do it, after deep prayers I told my daughter that I will not be talking to her for a long time. I knew if I continued the madness will never end and I had to make the very hard decision to completely cut her off. I watched through my window as she left an Easter basket for me with my favorite candies, knocked on my door to drop it off and I had to ignore her. It tore my heart out but I knew I had to do this in order for her to change. I even took my voice off my answering machine so I wiped myself out of her life for a long time. This was equal hard to burying my son and in many ways even harder since she was still alive. All of the advice I got was to try and work with it, I just could not any longer I put in years and money and I felt as if I was dying a slow horrible death. I did what I did to save my life and to be able to function as a normal human being and mostly I did it to FORCE my daughter to hurt enough she would grow. I must admit that it did make a positive difference. My daughter is very grieving but not to the degree as she was before she knew I was strong enough to blow her off. On a bad level from 1-10 she was a 15, after I blew her off she was a 7. I know for sure that she would still be horrible had I not blown her off. I pray for you as you make this very hard decision but if nothing else works you have to try something different. I pray you have the strength it will take.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 746924, member: 22416"] Acacia, You can only do what your heart allows you to do. I know how hard this is for you to do because I have done it. It took me about 5 years of total abuse to be able to go NO contact for 3 months. I went to therapy with my daughter, my daughter was acting very belligerent and therapist was getting nervous, therapist told me to not go NO contact, my heart told me to do it, after deep prayers I told my daughter that I will not be talking to her for a long time. I knew if I continued the madness will never end and I had to make the very hard decision to completely cut her off. I watched through my window as she left an Easter basket for me with my favorite candies, knocked on my door to drop it off and I had to ignore her. It tore my heart out but I knew I had to do this in order for her to change. I even took my voice off my answering machine so I wiped myself out of her life for a long time. This was equal hard to burying my son and in many ways even harder since she was still alive. All of the advice I got was to try and work with it, I just could not any longer I put in years and money and I felt as if I was dying a slow horrible death. I did what I did to save my life and to be able to function as a normal human being and mostly I did it to FORCE my daughter to hurt enough she would grow. I must admit that it did make a positive difference. My daughter is very grieving but not to the degree as she was before she knew I was strong enough to blow her off. On a bad level from 1-10 she was a 15, after I blew her off she was a 7. I know for sure that she would still be horrible had I not blown her off. I pray for you as you make this very hard decision but if nothing else works you have to try something different. I pray you have the strength it will take. [/QUOTE]
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