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opinions about no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 747067" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>RE - I love Brene Brown's talks. I listen to a lot of self-help and always gain something to help me move forward, if even just a little bit.</p><p></p><p>RN - I have PTSD, too- from my childhood and my relationship with my difficult adult children. I have finally reached a point where taking care of me is paramount.</p><p></p><p>Laura - I totally hear what you are saying and empathize. It's such a exhausting cycle of engagement, worry, fear - over and over again. I have been stronger at detaching emotionally and enabling less. Interestingly, after saying he would never do so, my 33 year old son went to a homeless shelter. Three days later he went of his own accord to a detox and is being moved to a 28 day program. It's the first time he's taken these steps on his own rather than being arrested or forced. </p><p></p><p>I may be wrong, but I believe keeping my boundaries and stepping away as much as I could bear, influenced his decision because I was unwilling to keep helping him. I told him I will visit him at rehab, but when he asked me for money for snacks, I said no, and I am gaining the confidence to continue to say no and mean it.</p><p></p><p>On the other side, my difficult daughter stopped contact with me over an year ago, and I know nothing about her life or my grandchildren, so there's relief from the insanity, but grief about my grands. </p><p></p><p>I think you're right about their brains getting stuck developmentally because of trauma, mental illness, or substances, but it is path to find a way to get help. My thoughts are with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 747067, member: 19832"] RE - I love Brene Brown's talks. I listen to a lot of self-help and always gain something to help me move forward, if even just a little bit. RN - I have PTSD, too- from my childhood and my relationship with my difficult adult children. I have finally reached a point where taking care of me is paramount. Laura - I totally hear what you are saying and empathize. It's such a exhausting cycle of engagement, worry, fear - over and over again. I have been stronger at detaching emotionally and enabling less. Interestingly, after saying he would never do so, my 33 year old son went to a homeless shelter. Three days later he went of his own accord to a detox and is being moved to a 28 day program. It's the first time he's taken these steps on his own rather than being arrested or forced. I may be wrong, but I believe keeping my boundaries and stepping away as much as I could bear, influenced his decision because I was unwilling to keep helping him. I told him I will visit him at rehab, but when he asked me for money for snacks, I said no, and I am gaining the confidence to continue to say no and mean it. On the other side, my difficult daughter stopped contact with me over an year ago, and I know nothing about her life or my grandchildren, so there's relief from the insanity, but grief about my grands. I think you're right about their brains getting stuck developmentally because of trauma, mental illness, or substances, but it is path to find a way to get help. My thoughts are with you. [/QUOTE]
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