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opinions about no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 747073" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>That is sad and struck a deep note with me. The last years of my marriage were steeped in drama with my twos addiction and issues. It drove a wedge between hubs and I, when I decided that I was done with the “game”. My two pounced on that and triangulated their relationship with their father, I was “the bad guy”. It made it very difficult to have closeness with my husband. He was just so angry. When he fell ill for the last time, they were barely present. Rain would promise on the phone to visit in the hospital, then not show. Hubs had an Advance Directive and when he was diagnosed in the ICU with brain stem function only, a family decision was made to stop treatment, who should show up? Rain, crying and yelling that “I wasn’t giving him a chance.”</p><p>I understand her grief and remorse, but to constantly have stuff flung at me, not acceptable.</p><p>It is a hard decision to make to go no contact, or say “no you can’t live here”, when it comes to our grown children. We love them and always will.</p><p>BUT, when they continually make terrible choices without consideration of the chaos it cause their parents, I believe a line has to be drawn.</p><p>I am sorry Laura for the pain of it all, but you are right to put your relationship with your husband at the forefront. Keep strengthening yourself. Our kids are old enough to figure things out. They need to know that they cannot use and abuse us. The only way for them to get that, is if we show them by word and action that we will not be disrespected and tread upon. That’s self love and protecting the sanctity of our homes.</p><p>It is the greatest example to them of how they need to care for themselves.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 747073, member: 19522"] That is sad and struck a deep note with me. The last years of my marriage were steeped in drama with my twos addiction and issues. It drove a wedge between hubs and I, when I decided that I was done with the “game”. My two pounced on that and triangulated their relationship with their father, I was “the bad guy”. It made it very difficult to have closeness with my husband. He was just so angry. When he fell ill for the last time, they were barely present. Rain would promise on the phone to visit in the hospital, then not show. Hubs had an Advance Directive and when he was diagnosed in the ICU with brain stem function only, a family decision was made to stop treatment, who should show up? Rain, crying and yelling that “I wasn’t giving him a chance.” I understand her grief and remorse, but to constantly have stuff flung at me, not acceptable. It is a hard decision to make to go no contact, or say “no you can’t live here”, when it comes to our grown children. We love them and always will. BUT, when they continually make terrible choices without consideration of the chaos it cause their parents, I believe a line has to be drawn. I am sorry Laura for the pain of it all, but you are right to put your relationship with your husband at the forefront. Keep strengthening yourself. Our kids are old enough to figure things out. They need to know that they cannot use and abuse us. The only way for them to get that, is if we show them by word and action that we will not be disrespected and tread upon. That’s self love and protecting the sanctity of our homes. It is the greatest example to them of how they need to care for themselves. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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