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Other parents/friends of mine do not understand my child.... HELP PLZ
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743901" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Megs</p><p></p><p>I think that some of this is just part of growing up. I think all children overreact. I think that helping our children learn to navigate these emergent kind of social games and relationships and to not overreact and to personalize is our job as parents. I know you feel bad. I would feel bad too.</p><p></p><p>I believe that the parent may have overreacted but it is understandable. I think we as parents, too, have things to work on. Not being overly sensitive, hearing others out, even if they are critical, even when we think they are wrong, forgiving them if we can, telling them our piece, and learning to negotiate misunderstandings in a way that everybody grows. They call this conflict resolution. There is a very good book on this called Nonviolent Communication. The approach leads to bringing people together when there are disputes and misunderstandings.</p><p></p><p>I think it is a mistake to focus on the part of this related to your child's diagnosis. This is because I believe this happens to everybody. Your child has a counselor so that there is a mechanism to help her learn from these things. I assume she has adequate support in school, too (at least I hope she does.) </p><p></p><p>I think it sounds like she is doing great. Friendships are a growing edge for everybody. I used to think I had no trouble with friends. I always had lots of close friends. People liked me. And then when I got older I realized that the reason that friendships were so easy for me was because I did not really show up as a person, have strong boundaries, and know what I needed from friendships and I didn't really get that attached. It is really hard to admit this, because I looked like I cared a great deal, and I thought I was a caring person. I actually have not admitted this before. Even to myself.</p><p></p><p>Now I see that I was kind of surfacey. At least compared to who I am now. Now I am able to care deeply and feel deeply. And friendships are much harder because I care so much, and feel so much.</p><p></p><p>There is always something we need to learn and to hear. </p><p></p><p>I hope I did not mis-read your post. I am glad you posted. Your daughter sounds like a great girl. And you too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743901, member: 18958"] Dear Megs I think that some of this is just part of growing up. I think all children overreact. I think that helping our children learn to navigate these emergent kind of social games and relationships and to not overreact and to personalize is our job as parents. I know you feel bad. I would feel bad too. I believe that the parent may have overreacted but it is understandable. I think we as parents, too, have things to work on. Not being overly sensitive, hearing others out, even if they are critical, even when we think they are wrong, forgiving them if we can, telling them our piece, and learning to negotiate misunderstandings in a way that everybody grows. They call this conflict resolution. There is a very good book on this called Nonviolent Communication. The approach leads to bringing people together when there are disputes and misunderstandings. I think it is a mistake to focus on the part of this related to your child's diagnosis. This is because I believe this happens to everybody. Your child has a counselor so that there is a mechanism to help her learn from these things. I assume she has adequate support in school, too (at least I hope she does.) I think it sounds like she is doing great. Friendships are a growing edge for everybody. I used to think I had no trouble with friends. I always had lots of close friends. People liked me. And then when I got older I realized that the reason that friendships were so easy for me was because I did not really show up as a person, have strong boundaries, and know what I needed from friendships and I didn't really get that attached. It is really hard to admit this, because I looked like I cared a great deal, and I thought I was a caring person. I actually have not admitted this before. Even to myself. Now I see that I was kind of surfacey. At least compared to who I am now. Now I am able to care deeply and feel deeply. And friendships are much harder because I care so much, and feel so much. There is always something we need to learn and to hear. I hope I did not mis-read your post. I am glad you posted. Your daughter sounds like a great girl. And you too. [/QUOTE]
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