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Substance Abuse
Our 15 yo son is in Juvi and we are afraid to take him back home
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 410817" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hello Discouraged Dad. I am in the middle of a situation, very close to yours. I am exhausted, worn out and yet I again have some hope. Here is what has helped us.</p><p>1. We did do residential care for 18 months, she was worse upon release because she chose to be- she did learn skills. ( we got help from family and church+ our own saved college money for this)We found a program that we actually fostered girls into our home each night once our child reached a high enough phase to come home at night. This made the program cheaper over the long hall.</p><p>2. We called the police for every little break of the law and documented every incident- running away, homemade bongs, etc.</p><p>3. We got her PO on our side. I emailed every event. I asked for her help- I even begged for it</p><p>4. We stayed on our daughter so we were sure to eventually push a button that would get her arrested- we gave her consequences for everything, stripped her room, took away all priveledges ( of course we did this because that is good parenting but we were even more firm than usual.</p><p>5. We got before a judge because she snapped and pushed us (physically) for the first time. Assault charges</p><p>6. I had seen a lawyer(only 1 time) about what giving custody to the state would do to her and my husband and I. (We work for public schools) He also advised us to tell the judge exactly what we wanted and even the program.He said if we did this we would have a greater chance.</p><p>7. I researched everything available through JRC or DCFS- found what she needed with DCFS ( therapeutic foster home plus intensive DBT day treatment)</p><p>8. I asked the judge for a thorough assessment (observation and assessment)with the hope that she would be placed in the above treatment.</p><p>9. I stayed persistent with the O and A people.</p><p>10. She was transfered to DCFS custody last week and started DBT today.I have had to stay on top of everything as these people are overworked, underpaid and the agencies have a heck of a time communicating.</p><p>11. I have had to be persistant, not very nice, demanding, and forth coming.</p><p>12. It's not perfect, but at least our family has peace, she is safe and in treatment.</p><p>13. The monthly child support is not cheap- but we are willing</p><p> </p><p>I wish you luck and hope you stay the course-care for yourself and your family. Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 410817, member: 11001"] Hello Discouraged Dad. I am in the middle of a situation, very close to yours. I am exhausted, worn out and yet I again have some hope. Here is what has helped us. 1. We did do residential care for 18 months, she was worse upon release because she chose to be- she did learn skills. ( we got help from family and church+ our own saved college money for this)We found a program that we actually fostered girls into our home each night once our child reached a high enough phase to come home at night. This made the program cheaper over the long hall. 2. We called the police for every little break of the law and documented every incident- running away, homemade bongs, etc. 3. We got her PO on our side. I emailed every event. I asked for her help- I even begged for it 4. We stayed on our daughter so we were sure to eventually push a button that would get her arrested- we gave her consequences for everything, stripped her room, took away all priveledges ( of course we did this because that is good parenting but we were even more firm than usual. 5. We got before a judge because she snapped and pushed us (physically) for the first time. Assault charges 6. I had seen a lawyer(only 1 time) about what giving custody to the state would do to her and my husband and I. (We work for public schools) He also advised us to tell the judge exactly what we wanted and even the program.He said if we did this we would have a greater chance. 7. I researched everything available through JRC or DCFS- found what she needed with DCFS ( therapeutic foster home plus intensive DBT day treatment) 8. I asked the judge for a thorough assessment (observation and assessment)with the hope that she would be placed in the above treatment. 9. I stayed persistent with the O and A people. 10. She was transfered to DCFS custody last week and started DBT today.I have had to stay on top of everything as these people are overworked, underpaid and the agencies have a heck of a time communicating. 11. I have had to be persistant, not very nice, demanding, and forth coming. 12. It's not perfect, but at least our family has peace, she is safe and in treatment. 13. The monthly child support is not cheap- but we are willing I wish you luck and hope you stay the course-care for yourself and your family. Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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Our 15 yo son is in Juvi and we are afraid to take him back home
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