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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694524" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Many of us, a dad, are from these cultures, where our parents or grandparents were raised this way. It takes only 1 generation here in the states to forget the old ways. I was more than half raised by maternal grandparents. My grandmother in many ways took on the obligations of a mother. When my own mother had a chance--she moved away from my grandmother and left her alone. When I was 26 years old she died in my arms. My mother had moved on.</p><p></p><p>The way I grieved my mother, she did not grieve her own. It really is the law of the jungle here. Sometimes I feel that. Being forced to need each other is not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes I think this way is the worst. The illusion that you can go it alone. You can, but at what cost? Human beings require each other. To deny this is a fantasy, I think.</p><p></p><p>A dad. I do not think it is only utility and necessity that keeps families close. Like you said, it is culture. My own culture now forces family apart, creating the illusion that other things are more important. Looking back on my life. There is no more important thing, to me. I wish I had lived consistent with this belief. I did not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694524, member: 18958"] Many of us, a dad, are from these cultures, where our parents or grandparents were raised this way. It takes only 1 generation here in the states to forget the old ways. I was more than half raised by maternal grandparents. My grandmother in many ways took on the obligations of a mother. When my own mother had a chance--she moved away from my grandmother and left her alone. When I was 26 years old she died in my arms. My mother had moved on. The way I grieved my mother, she did not grieve her own. It really is the law of the jungle here. Sometimes I feel that. Being forced to need each other is not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes I think this way is the worst. The illusion that you can go it alone. You can, but at what cost? Human beings require each other. To deny this is a fantasy, I think. A dad. I do not think it is only utility and necessity that keeps families close. Like you said, it is culture. My own culture now forces family apart, creating the illusion that other things are more important. Looking back on my life. There is no more important thing, to me. I wish I had lived consistent with this belief. I did not. [/QUOTE]
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