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Out of control 15yo son breaking my heart and the law
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<blockquote data-quote="Cor" data-source="post: 719853" data-attributes="member: 22294"><p>Thank you for your reply, it means a lot to me. I know deep down I am not alone in this, but yet I feel that way. I feel guilt, I feel disgusted. I feel completely broken down. I feel like I'm failing at being a good mom and I honestly do not know how I have been getting through any of this. I'm glad to have found this forum because out here in the real world I feel like I have to just keep being strong not just for myself and my family, but especially for my 15 y/o.</p><p>I have decided as of last night that I will no longer enable this behaviour in any way or "protect" him any longer. It's been daily fights and struggles to get him to do anything. I feel like he has chosen that he does not want to obey the school, the law or home...and with that I have to learn to allow natural consequences to happen. If he keeps skipping, truancy officer will get involved and he will fail or get kicked out. Not only that, but when he faces the judge on his charges, him not going will not create a good look and potentially he could go to jail because of that and his continued disobedience and lack of care. I have to try and accept this instead of fight him on it any longer. I refuse to give up on my son, but I can't keep beating my head off the same brick wall over and over. </p><p>I will work on getting in touch with a physchologist and think that is a great idea. In the meantime, he has a counsellor as well which is hopefully helpful. Deep down in there is my good kid and I'll do anything to help get him back to who he truly is because the person he is being now, it is just not him. </p><p>As for me, coming to terms I'm an enabler and have allowed him to treat me like garbage on one too many occasions and I will no longer. He has times where he tries to behave and follow rules and in turn, I give him a little freedom or money for lunch. I do his laundry for him. I have found a lawyer for him. Pretty much, I give everything I can and he takes anything he can get and runs. When he gets home today he will be given his legal aid information and told he should deal with this so he can pay his lawyer and that if he wants me to come with him, I will but I refuse to do it for him. He also will be doing his own damn laundry or wearing dirty clothes. I will no longer be giving him any money unless he does something around the house to earn it. This is to hopefully help with his sense of entitlement issue and hopefully help him realize it's time for him to man up and be responsible for himself and his actions. I'm not perfect, I tried hard to raise him right and all my mistakes are being thrown at me by his actions or lack of. All so tough to take in <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cor, post: 719853, member: 22294"] Thank you for your reply, it means a lot to me. I know deep down I am not alone in this, but yet I feel that way. I feel guilt, I feel disgusted. I feel completely broken down. I feel like I'm failing at being a good mom and I honestly do not know how I have been getting through any of this. I'm glad to have found this forum because out here in the real world I feel like I have to just keep being strong not just for myself and my family, but especially for my 15 y/o. I have decided as of last night that I will no longer enable this behaviour in any way or "protect" him any longer. It's been daily fights and struggles to get him to do anything. I feel like he has chosen that he does not want to obey the school, the law or home...and with that I have to learn to allow natural consequences to happen. If he keeps skipping, truancy officer will get involved and he will fail or get kicked out. Not only that, but when he faces the judge on his charges, him not going will not create a good look and potentially he could go to jail because of that and his continued disobedience and lack of care. I have to try and accept this instead of fight him on it any longer. I refuse to give up on my son, but I can't keep beating my head off the same brick wall over and over. I will work on getting in touch with a physchologist and think that is a great idea. In the meantime, he has a counsellor as well which is hopefully helpful. Deep down in there is my good kid and I'll do anything to help get him back to who he truly is because the person he is being now, it is just not him. As for me, coming to terms I'm an enabler and have allowed him to treat me like garbage on one too many occasions and I will no longer. He has times where he tries to behave and follow rules and in turn, I give him a little freedom or money for lunch. I do his laundry for him. I have found a lawyer for him. Pretty much, I give everything I can and he takes anything he can get and runs. When he gets home today he will be given his legal aid information and told he should deal with this so he can pay his lawyer and that if he wants me to come with him, I will but I refuse to do it for him. He also will be doing his own damn laundry or wearing dirty clothes. I will no longer be giving him any money unless he does something around the house to earn it. This is to hopefully help with his sense of entitlement issue and hopefully help him realize it's time for him to man up and be responsible for himself and his actions. I'm not perfect, I tried hard to raise him right and all my mistakes are being thrown at me by his actions or lack of. All so tough to take in :( [/QUOTE]
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Out of control 15yo son breaking my heart and the law
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