Your focus is in you. Your feelings. Your security. Your needs. Your wants.
Hers is in her.
This is the changing and learning that needs to happen for each of you.
That is the only criteria that gets met. Do I feel safe? Calm?
Her life is hers. Her needs are hers. Her feelings are hers. Her consequences, hers.
You are off to a great start. I agree with the others. Meet in a busy restaurant. Be open. Kind. Don't talk about hard stuff. Ask nothing. Expect nothing expect respect and courtesy. If she crosses that line, leave right away.
However. If you don't want to go, don't. You can drop of the stuff at a friend's.
My situation is like yours with my son. He is 30. 5 mos ago I kicked him out of a property I own. He began to squat. When he came to my house he would not leave. The police were called several times. I was terrorized.
He left town. There was a period of elation on my part (that I had set a limit) and then despair. He is sleeping in a friends truck a few hours from here. Homeless.
The point I want to make is over time we have found a way to stay in touch. It is loving. Mostly respectful. We text. Sometimes a dozen times a day.
I have no expectations anymore except that he take care of his health. That is my only bottom line. I no longer believe I have a power center or responsibility in his life. My center of gravity has shifted. There is something paradoxical that is happening. He seems more hopeful about himself.
The changes that can happen when we begin to bring home our own energy are a gift.
Merry Christmas.
