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Parent Emeritus
Out of jail, results sadly predictable
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 616438" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It has been my experience that relationships fall into healthier or unhealthier places, depending on whether we can recognize how different where we are in the relationship is from where we want to be. One of the measuring techniques for husband and I is joy. Are we able to joyfully accept change? Tragedy? It sounds simplistic. Sometimes, simple is best. With joy as our guiding principle, we have a way to steer ourselves back on course. Even with everything that happens that seems so bad, we assess where we got to (which is usually fighting, not sleeping, being mean to ourselves and each other and even, the poor dog) by that concept of joy in our lives. It helps us to look at it that way. Life is challenging, filled with challenges and with change, for all of us. We do need tools, some way to assess where we are going. That concept of joy works well for us, when we are off-track. If your SO is willing to discuss and support you in other areas, perhaps a discussion about working toward joy, in your individual lives and in your lives together, would be a way to keep your good relationship in a good and growing space. </p><p></p><p>We are in relationship to learn from and polish one another. Issues seem to be custom-made. In working through them, we heal ourselves. That is what I hope, anyway! husband and I have issues, too. We try really hard to be awake enough to see them. Joy is a good measuring tool.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 616438, member: 17461"] It has been my experience that relationships fall into healthier or unhealthier places, depending on whether we can recognize how different where we are in the relationship is from where we want to be. One of the measuring techniques for husband and I is joy. Are we able to joyfully accept change? Tragedy? It sounds simplistic. Sometimes, simple is best. With joy as our guiding principle, we have a way to steer ourselves back on course. Even with everything that happens that seems so bad, we assess where we got to (which is usually fighting, not sleeping, being mean to ourselves and each other and even, the poor dog) by that concept of joy in our lives. It helps us to look at it that way. Life is challenging, filled with challenges and with change, for all of us. We do need tools, some way to assess where we are going. That concept of joy works well for us, when we are off-track. If your SO is willing to discuss and support you in other areas, perhaps a discussion about working toward joy, in your individual lives and in your lives together, would be a way to keep your good relationship in a good and growing space. We are in relationship to learn from and polish one another. Issues seem to be custom-made. In working through them, we heal ourselves. That is what I hope, anyway! husband and I have issues, too. We try really hard to be awake enough to see them. Joy is a good measuring tool. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Out of jail, results sadly predictable
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