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Family of Origin
Painful encounter with my sister. What a surprise! (*Sarcasm, here)
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 702729" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I'm sorry you were hurt, Copa. In deciding to send your sister a Birthday message, you were being honest and real and true to yourself. This matters more than anything else ~ that you were true to yourself. Why pretend you were not thinking of her on the day of her birth when you were? Is it supposed to be a guilty secret that you care for her and remember her on her birthday? Are you supposed to keep that to yourself? Why? The sister doesn't get to determine what you think or how you feel or whether you send her an email on her birthday. You get to do, and think, and feel, whatever you want. This is a person in your life. A sister, and your blood. You are not required to accept her interpretation of the meaning or value of your relationship. Also, you knew you were opening yourself to a vulnerability when you sent the Birthday greeting, if your sister chose to use your communication in this way. You knew all those things, Copa...but you chose to wish her well. In this, you met your own highest intent. And that is what matters. That you do the right thing as you believe it to be. Next year, if you still feel the same, you may wish to send another Birthday greeting. The sister may respond as she wishes of course, but what she does not get to do is say what you are entitled to think or feel or do. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for the hurt in it, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 702729, member: 17461"] I'm sorry you were hurt, Copa. In deciding to send your sister a Birthday message, you were being honest and real and true to yourself. This matters more than anything else ~ that you were true to yourself. Why pretend you were not thinking of her on the day of her birth when you were? Is it supposed to be a guilty secret that you care for her and remember her on her birthday? Are you supposed to keep that to yourself? Why? The sister doesn't get to determine what you think or how you feel or whether you send her an email on her birthday. You get to do, and think, and feel, whatever you want. This is a person in your life. A sister, and your blood. You are not required to accept her interpretation of the meaning or value of your relationship. Also, you knew you were opening yourself to a vulnerability when you sent the Birthday greeting, if your sister chose to use your communication in this way. You knew all those things, Copa...but you chose to wish her well. In this, you met your own highest intent. And that is what matters. That you do the right thing as you believe it to be. Next year, if you still feel the same, you may wish to send another Birthday greeting. The sister may respond as she wishes of course, but what she does not get to do is say what you are entitled to think or feel or do. I'm sorry for the hurt in it, Copa. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Painful encounter with my sister. What a surprise! (*Sarcasm, here)
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