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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 197743" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Yes, the difficult child I mean is the 20 year old. He does have an autistic spectrum diagnosis from childhood, although docs more recently (in his teens) have said they don't see it, and that he's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but not autistic spectrum. However, he's always had a weird sense of time, always had a completely different version than anyone else about what's happening, doesn't seem to register that important things are going on (like daughter's accident and surgery - he showed no interest in how she was, didn't ask questions about why she was in a chair with a casted arm up on ice, taking medications every four hours etc. - and showed no emotion when he was told). It could be that he's autistic spectrum, or it could be that he's so narcissistic or antisocial that no one registers on his radar but himself. At times he seems to have a good heart, but it also appears there's always something in it for him. Yet he will cry at a really sad song or movie - doesn't seem like antisocial behavior.</p><p></p><p>I don't know, and I'm so tired of trying to understand him, wondering if he's autistic or just a bad apple, trying to analyze why he's done or said the things he did. Could he really have seen himself as a peaceful, not-angry guy and us as angry screaming freaks the entire time he was assaulting his brother, threatening me, stabbing our house, punching holes in walls, and kicking down doors this summer? He definitely gets all upset and angry if anyone challenges his self-perception. But is that just a defense to push people and their challenges away, or is it truly outrage? I'm so tired of trying to decide. </p><p></p><p>What difficult child did is exactly the sort of thing my sis has done all her life. She's reinvented our entire family history and made false accusations. When she's upset, she believes everything she says. When calm again she tries to deny it or brush it off or redirect the conversation with an anger attack. But just like difficult child, if really cornered about her lies she'll admit that she knows the truth. </p><p></p><p>One time she called me in hysterics, saying our mother had told her she couldn't ever bring her kids over again. That was all I could understand from her. When I checked with our mother, she was astounded. She'd had sis over that afternoon and given her some cute plastic ice cream cups and spoons for sis's kids, that she was otherwise going to sell in a yard sale. When I asked sis wth, she said that when mother gave her the ice cream things she FELT that they wouldn't be asked there for ice cream anymore, that that was what it meant to her; so she told me she'd been TOLD she couldn't bring the kids over anymore. All she would say was, 'That was how I felt! It was how I felt!' </p><p></p><p>After too many episodes like the one with the hospitalization, I've distanced myself as much as I can. And now I'm living it all over again. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 197743, member: 2884"] Yes, the difficult child I mean is the 20 year old. He does have an autistic spectrum diagnosis from childhood, although docs more recently (in his teens) have said they don't see it, and that he's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but not autistic spectrum. However, he's always had a weird sense of time, always had a completely different version than anyone else about what's happening, doesn't seem to register that important things are going on (like daughter's accident and surgery - he showed no interest in how she was, didn't ask questions about why she was in a chair with a casted arm up on ice, taking medications every four hours etc. - and showed no emotion when he was told). It could be that he's autistic spectrum, or it could be that he's so narcissistic or antisocial that no one registers on his radar but himself. At times he seems to have a good heart, but it also appears there's always something in it for him. Yet he will cry at a really sad song or movie - doesn't seem like antisocial behavior. I don't know, and I'm so tired of trying to understand him, wondering if he's autistic or just a bad apple, trying to analyze why he's done or said the things he did. Could he really have seen himself as a peaceful, not-angry guy and us as angry screaming freaks the entire time he was assaulting his brother, threatening me, stabbing our house, punching holes in walls, and kicking down doors this summer? He definitely gets all upset and angry if anyone challenges his self-perception. But is that just a defense to push people and their challenges away, or is it truly outrage? I'm so tired of trying to decide. What difficult child did is exactly the sort of thing my sis has done all her life. She's reinvented our entire family history and made false accusations. When she's upset, she believes everything she says. When calm again she tries to deny it or brush it off or redirect the conversation with an anger attack. But just like difficult child, if really cornered about her lies she'll admit that she knows the truth. One time she called me in hysterics, saying our mother had told her she couldn't ever bring her kids over again. That was all I could understand from her. When I checked with our mother, she was astounded. She'd had sis over that afternoon and given her some cute plastic ice cream cups and spoons for sis's kids, that she was otherwise going to sell in a yard sale. When I asked sis wth, she said that when mother gave her the ice cream things she FELT that they wouldn't be asked there for ice cream anymore, that that was what it meant to her; so she told me she'd been TOLD she couldn't bring the kids over anymore. All she would say was, 'That was how I felt! It was how I felt!' After too many episodes like the one with the hospitalization, I've distanced myself as much as I can. And now I'm living it all over again. :( [/QUOTE]
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