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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 697834" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Would you like him and want to be around him if he wasn't your son?</p><p></p><p>Why do you feel guilty about not letting an almost 30 year old man live with you? How many men that age live with mom on mom's dime? Most parents dont want grown men and women children in their homes. Most grown children dont WANT to still live with parents.</p><p></p><p>I know he is your son, but he is abusing you. Would you let your spouse or a friend treat you this way? NOBODY has a right to treat anyone the way tour son treats you. Why do you care if he makes up ridiculous lies? Stop reading his social media. Youll feel happier if you don't. Really!</p><p></p><p>is there a father here, maybe divorced from you, maybe not a nice man. Personality is in large part genetic. If your son gets tired of being unkind, then he can get help and do the hard work it takes to change. Only he can make that decision.</p><p></p><p>Just because we feel guilty stepping out of the drama doesn't mean its not best for both us and for them.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, enrich your own life. Hang out with loving family and friends. Enjoy community groups and your hobbies. Volunteer. Obsessibg over this son helps nobody and hurts you. No one person, even an angry adult child making bad choices, should have so much power over your life. It does no good. You are in charge of your life, nobody elses.</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself and let go of this son's drama. Love him, but don't engage in his messes. He better learn to clean up his own trash. None of us can live forever.</p><p></p><p>Be kind to yourself. Dont allow abuse from anybody.</p><p></p><p>I had a daughter who abused drugs but she quit long ago. She had to leave at age 19. She quit in large part due to knowing we would never support her lifestyle. She is doing great now. It is hard to let go. I am convinced there is no other way to motivate them to change. Helping doesnt seem to help...it makes us the parents feel better and the kids disrespect our weakness, use us, lie, steal and dont feel they have to change JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 697834, member: 1550"] Would you like him and want to be around him if he wasn't your son? Why do you feel guilty about not letting an almost 30 year old man live with you? How many men that age live with mom on mom's dime? Most parents dont want grown men and women children in their homes. Most grown children dont WANT to still live with parents. I know he is your son, but he is abusing you. Would you let your spouse or a friend treat you this way? NOBODY has a right to treat anyone the way tour son treats you. Why do you care if he makes up ridiculous lies? Stop reading his social media. Youll feel happier if you don't. Really! is there a father here, maybe divorced from you, maybe not a nice man. Personality is in large part genetic. If your son gets tired of being unkind, then he can get help and do the hard work it takes to change. Only he can make that decision. Just because we feel guilty stepping out of the drama doesn't mean its not best for both us and for them. In the meantime, enrich your own life. Hang out with loving family and friends. Enjoy community groups and your hobbies. Volunteer. Obsessibg over this son helps nobody and hurts you. No one person, even an angry adult child making bad choices, should have so much power over your life. It does no good. You are in charge of your life, nobody elses. Take care of yourself and let go of this son's drama. Love him, but don't engage in his messes. He better learn to clean up his own trash. None of us can live forever. Be kind to yourself. Dont allow abuse from anybody. I had a daughter who abused drugs but she quit long ago. She had to leave at age 19. She quit in large part due to knowing we would never support her lifestyle. She is doing great now. It is hard to let go. I am convinced there is no other way to motivate them to change. Helping doesnt seem to help...it makes us the parents feel better and the kids disrespect our weakness, use us, lie, steal and dont feel they have to change JMO [/QUOTE]
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