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Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 731607" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Memories can be like splinters. You can get a splinter in your finger that goes in quite deep, you may not even know it's there but the body over time works to purge it out by bringing it to the surface. When it makes its way to surface it can be very painful and a infected with puss. Once we remove the splinter our finger will begin heal.</p><p>When old memories work their way to the surface of our conscience mind, like the splinter they can be painful. </p><p>Ignoring the splinter will not make it go away, it's the same with painful memories.</p><p></p><p>For myself, when I have those moments I remind myself that they are just memories, they are in the past, they have no power over me and I am much stronger for having survived them. We do not have to be defined by our past hurts but we can learn from them and gain strength from them.</p><p></p><p>As you know, my bio-father sexually abused me from age 2 till 7. For many years when I would see a father playing with his daughter, say tickling her, my mind would automatically become suspicious. I just knew that he was abusing her. This was a very warped way for me to view the world. I couldn't tell you when it happened but I decided to make a conscience choice and effort to stop thinking that way. When I would come upon that scene I would think instead, what a beautiful normal relationship. I would fill joy for the little girl that she had a loving father.</p><p>Changing my thought process has been a huge part of my healing. It's not something that happens overnight and there are time I will catch myself slipping but am quick to recognize it and change the thought process.</p><p></p><p>How exciting for your dear husband to retire this month. Congratulations!!! And your daughter graduating, so wonderful. You have worked so hard to have the wonderful life you now have.</p><p></p><p>Let those old memories work their way up, feel the pain for the moment, pluck them out, and let the healing continue.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you sweet lady!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 731607, member: 18516"] Memories can be like splinters. You can get a splinter in your finger that goes in quite deep, you may not even know it's there but the body over time works to purge it out by bringing it to the surface. When it makes its way to surface it can be very painful and a infected with puss. Once we remove the splinter our finger will begin heal. When old memories work their way to the surface of our conscience mind, like the splinter they can be painful. Ignoring the splinter will not make it go away, it's the same with painful memories. For myself, when I have those moments I remind myself that they are just memories, they are in the past, they have no power over me and I am much stronger for having survived them. We do not have to be defined by our past hurts but we can learn from them and gain strength from them. As you know, my bio-father sexually abused me from age 2 till 7. For many years when I would see a father playing with his daughter, say tickling her, my mind would automatically become suspicious. I just knew that he was abusing her. This was a very warped way for me to view the world. I couldn't tell you when it happened but I decided to make a conscience choice and effort to stop thinking that way. When I would come upon that scene I would think instead, what a beautiful normal relationship. I would fill joy for the little girl that she had a loving father. Changing my thought process has been a huge part of my healing. It's not something that happens overnight and there are time I will catch myself slipping but am quick to recognize it and change the thought process. How exciting for your dear husband to retire this month. Congratulations!!! And your daughter graduating, so wonderful. You have worked so hard to have the wonderful life you now have. Let those old memories work their way up, feel the pain for the moment, pluck them out, and let the healing continue. ((HUGS)) to you sweet lady! [/QUOTE]
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Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
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