Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 731632" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Swot, I am so sorry for all of the hardship you endured growing up. I remember our discussions in FOO and when your father was ill, you had to deny it all. I knew in my gut something was not right. Maybe that is part of what is causing you to review past issues. That at a very difficult time in your life, you had to repress your truth.</p><p>When we lose a beloved parent that is traumatic in of itself. But, you are free now to express your feelings. I think letting it out is a good thing. I also think that family ties are so deep, when our own family members hurt us it is especially difficult to deal with.</p><p>I regret some of the things I expounded upon about my sis. But, it is true that I was extremely emotionally bullied as a child. I did not feel safe at home. I am glad that I was able to explore that in my “FOO” chapters with you, Copa and Cedar and the others that chimed in. My sis says I have to put all that behind me, stop “living in the past”. I don’t feel that I <em>live in the past</em>, but it is a <em>part</em> of me. We don’t see each other often, but when we do and disagree, it is almost as if I am thrown back to those days. She assumes a bullying, know it all stance and can’t have a calm discussion with me. I tell her I am not that little 7 year old she can push around. </p><p>Okay, sheesh, you got me venting now!</p><p>I look at past trauma as a sort of training. I believe there is a reason for everything, and we are meant to learn from challenges. Life is just not fair, has many ups and downs and tests our resilience. I am glad that my Dad and Mom taught me to try to look at the blessings I have.</p><p>I like to take walks and pray. I listen to Steely Dan, Yes, Pink Floyd, and alternative music, classical and country. The beach always calms me and I love to hunt for seaglass and shells. Gardening is freeing. When I feel down, I let myself feel what I need to. I don’t go out and put on a happy face. I find that there are times (especially around full moons) that I need to be by myself and just think, write or draw.</p><p>I love color and have many brightly hued accent walls in my home. </p><p>I am an old hippy and find essential oils like patchouli and lavender to be calming. I am surrounded by paisley decor. </p><p>All of the things that make me, me. Honoring that and striving to better myself, I think that is what helps to set me free from past hurts and trauma. </p><p>Living in the present is important, but I think we all carry our inner child still, and if past memories appear, it is because we were not able to address them as children. As adults, we are able to roll through those tapes and embrace those unexpressed, or repressed feelings.</p><p>Many people have grown up in difficult circumstances, domestic violence, abuse, etc. Some are able to overcome and use those experiences to develop kindness and empathy towards others. Some are deeply wounded and scarred and display a mean spirit.</p><p>I think that you have chosen the higher path and are a shiny diamond. I wonder if your diagnosis was due to the trauma you experienced, you seem to be such a stalwart, stable and resilient person Swot. You have shared so much of your kindness and wisdom throughout this site and use your experiences to help others. </p><p>Grief comes in many different colors and tones. I am finding coming up on the second year of hubs passing, that I am reeling those tapes leading up to his death. I think it is because the first year is so full of the essentials of just surviving, figuring out finances and all of that. I think it is so important to let ourselves go through what we need to, to process our emotions. </p><p>Love and light to you dear lady. </p><p>You deserve to be treated with love kindness and respect. </p><p>There are just toxic people in the world who find reasons to be hurtful to others. It is unfortunate that some of them can be our blood. </p><p>But, there are those who are not blood who can become our family. </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 731632, member: 19522"] Swot, I am so sorry for all of the hardship you endured growing up. I remember our discussions in FOO and when your father was ill, you had to deny it all. I knew in my gut something was not right. Maybe that is part of what is causing you to review past issues. That at a very difficult time in your life, you had to repress your truth. When we lose a beloved parent that is traumatic in of itself. But, you are free now to express your feelings. I think letting it out is a good thing. I also think that family ties are so deep, when our own family members hurt us it is especially difficult to deal with. I regret some of the things I expounded upon about my sis. But, it is true that I was extremely emotionally bullied as a child. I did not feel safe at home. I am glad that I was able to explore that in my “FOO” chapters with you, Copa and Cedar and the others that chimed in. My sis says I have to put all that behind me, stop “living in the past”. I don’t feel that I [I]live in the past[/I], but it is a [I]part[/I] of me. We don’t see each other often, but when we do and disagree, it is almost as if I am thrown back to those days. She assumes a bullying, know it all stance and can’t have a calm discussion with me. I tell her I am not that little 7 year old she can push around. Okay, sheesh, you got me venting now! I look at past trauma as a sort of training. I believe there is a reason for everything, and we are meant to learn from challenges. Life is just not fair, has many ups and downs and tests our resilience. I am glad that my Dad and Mom taught me to try to look at the blessings I have. I like to take walks and pray. I listen to Steely Dan, Yes, Pink Floyd, and alternative music, classical and country. The beach always calms me and I love to hunt for seaglass and shells. Gardening is freeing. When I feel down, I let myself feel what I need to. I don’t go out and put on a happy face. I find that there are times (especially around full moons) that I need to be by myself and just think, write or draw. I love color and have many brightly hued accent walls in my home. I am an old hippy and find essential oils like patchouli and lavender to be calming. I am surrounded by paisley decor. All of the things that make me, me. Honoring that and striving to better myself, I think that is what helps to set me free from past hurts and trauma. Living in the present is important, but I think we all carry our inner child still, and if past memories appear, it is because we were not able to address them as children. As adults, we are able to roll through those tapes and embrace those unexpressed, or repressed feelings. Many people have grown up in difficult circumstances, domestic violence, abuse, etc. Some are able to overcome and use those experiences to develop kindness and empathy towards others. Some are deeply wounded and scarred and display a mean spirit. I think that you have chosen the higher path and are a shiny diamond. I wonder if your diagnosis was due to the trauma you experienced, you seem to be such a stalwart, stable and resilient person Swot. You have shared so much of your kindness and wisdom throughout this site and use your experiences to help others. Grief comes in many different colors and tones. I am finding coming up on the second year of hubs passing, that I am reeling those tapes leading up to his death. I think it is because the first year is so full of the essentials of just surviving, figuring out finances and all of that. I think it is so important to let ourselves go through what we need to, to process our emotions. Love and light to you dear lady. You deserve to be treated with love kindness and respect. There are just toxic people in the world who find reasons to be hurtful to others. It is unfortunate that some of them can be our blood. But, there are those who are not blood who can become our family. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
Top