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Personal Growth Stuff Thread
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620423" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Thank you, Recovering. That feels so good, feels just right, the moon passing across the sun, the sun brilliant, breaking....</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>So, perhaps I am not Quasimodo in the bell tower, after all.</p><p></p><p>Maybe Quasimodo was the best I could do, before understanding about compassion. This understanding has changed the view, subtly but completely. You are right, Recovering. There is like, a Noah's Ark flood of water there....</p><p></p><p>One has to be prepared, on guard.</p><p></p><p>These are the tears I refused to shed. This is where they went. This is the source of the numbness, the separation between me and myself.</p><p></p><p>I love it that there is so much water, there.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for that imagery of something held back, of something breaking open, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>It is perfect.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>On pity: Pity is my word for the taste of the way the abuser reminds you who you are and, most importantly, who you are not. If anyone reading along grew up with an abuser, or if you are living with one now, what I am calling pity is that sense of being watched so closely, of expecting to be hurt unexpectedly, of anticipating ridicule or of being discounted.</p><p></p><p>It is how the abuser stokes the fire between abusive episodes. </p><p></p><p>Child or adult, we carry that with us, incorporate that weak, shaky, approval-seeking feeling as surely as people treated well incorporate positive feelings of strength and competence and independence. </p><p> </p><p>I don't think there is anything personal in what an abuser does. </p><p></p><p>In the grip of it, the eyes are empty.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620423, member: 17461"] Thank you, Recovering. That feels so good, feels just right, the moon passing across the sun, the sun brilliant, breaking.... :O) So, perhaps I am not Quasimodo in the bell tower, after all. Maybe Quasimodo was the best I could do, before understanding about compassion. This understanding has changed the view, subtly but completely. You are right, Recovering. There is like, a Noah's Ark flood of water there.... One has to be prepared, on guard. These are the tears I refused to shed. This is where they went. This is the source of the numbness, the separation between me and myself. I love it that there is so much water, there. Thank you for that imagery of something held back, of something breaking open, Recovering. It is perfect. *** On pity: Pity is my word for the taste of the way the abuser reminds you who you are and, most importantly, who you are not. If anyone reading along grew up with an abuser, or if you are living with one now, what I am calling pity is that sense of being watched so closely, of expecting to be hurt unexpectedly, of anticipating ridicule or of being discounted. It is how the abuser stokes the fire between abusive episodes. Child or adult, we carry that with us, incorporate that weak, shaky, approval-seeking feeling as surely as people treated well incorporate positive feelings of strength and competence and independence. I don't think there is anything personal in what an abuser does. In the grip of it, the eyes are empty. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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