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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620585" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This is true, Recovering. But what I would add to the so harsh judgments you are making about yourself in the enabler mindset is this: When we have been in that place where evil is, when we have grown up with it; when, for a time, we could not even separate the taste of what was evil from the heart of ourselves...there are those who tie a knot. There are those, and I don't know if there are many or few of us, who know the harshness of evil so thoroughly, that they decide they will do what they can to make things better. That is what we call enabling now too, Recovering. But if it weren't for those people who see the wrong and refuse to give up in the face of it, where would the world be, today?</p><p></p><p>Yes, we enable. But not forever. I have been a fool for lesser things. I would do it again and again, until I get it that this isn't helping. Then, like you, I will do what I can know of what will help. I don't know why our paths are so filled with pain.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the answer to that one.</p><p></p><p>But I do know that, like you, I will do my best to tie a knot, to make it better. </p><p></p><p>It isn't wrong to enable. It is wrong to enable from a harmful perspective. These are the distinctions we are making as we heal. Instead of taking it all on, we are taking on what we can while celebrating our own lives. It is a hard thing to know. But once we see through it, there is a strength, a brightness in those of us who trust, and believe. This is the engine that moves the world in a better direction, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>We are not wrong.</p><p></p><p>We are not foolish.</p><p></p><p>We are building good, strong things. New concepts, new thought processes. New ideas of right and wrong, based on what we feel, strong and sure and true, of love. Of the power of it, of the sureness of it.</p><p></p><p>You are right. There is a razor fine line between what is ego and what is real. We are learning, Recovering. Each episode which finds us appalled at what has run wild within us ~ each time we see, accept, and, well, I don't know a better word than heal for what happens, deep inside where no one can see...this small portion of the world for which we are responsible is stronger, better, completed.</p><p></p><p>I swear we send that bright new strength, that completed wholeness, out around us, Recovering. Those we are fortunate to walk this path with are doing the same. All those ripples, sweet and healthy and strong, instead of what might have been.</p><p></p><p>And it matters, Recovering. It matters more than we know or can imagine. </p><p></p><p>We don't know the purpose. We don't know when we have reached an ending, where we are in the process, or even if an ending exists. We are doing what we are here to do. In every moment of our time here, we are doing what we are here to do. There is no medal, no time card, no way to know whether we did rightly or wrongly. You have made a great difference in my path. Somehow, what seemed unremarkable when I struggled alone with it now seems a valid path, a thing worth pursuing. Maybe, that is all we will ever know, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>But if you consider the darkness you have changed, the tiniest spark of sweet, bright light that we may never know we created, but that shines through eternity? That is what is true. </p><p></p><p>That may be the only truth there is. Whether we chose to tie that knot, to try, or let the whole thing fall apart.</p><p></p><p>The strength and compassion in you nourishes the strength, the compassion, the decision to continue, in me. In all of us here, Recovering. No one can know what the tapestry is weaving. But you, and me, and everyone here who is doing the best, the utmost, very best, to make a better thing out of what we were given...that is what it is to be human.</p><p></p><p>You are strong, Recovering, and so the path is not easy. </p><p></p><p>But you are still on the path. You are upright. Others of us are stronger because of you.</p><p></p><p>That is enough.</p><p></p><p>We are as we are, warts and all. And that is enough, and more than enough. That is a miracle, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>A bona fide miracle.</p><p></p><p>I'm pretty full of myself, today. That is part of this journey, too. Freeing ourselves is not an easy thing. It would be way easier to defend, to hunker down in anger or shame. We are not doing that. None of us here is doing that. We are risking, sharing, choosing to shine.</p><p></p><p>Well, I am today, anyway. I might be in a really crummy place again, next week.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620585, member: 17461"] This is true, Recovering. But what I would add to the so harsh judgments you are making about yourself in the enabler mindset is this: When we have been in that place where evil is, when we have grown up with it; when, for a time, we could not even separate the taste of what was evil from the heart of ourselves...there are those who tie a knot. There are those, and I don't know if there are many or few of us, who know the harshness of evil so thoroughly, that they decide they will do what they can to make things better. That is what we call enabling now too, Recovering. But if it weren't for those people who see the wrong and refuse to give up in the face of it, where would the world be, today? Yes, we enable. But not forever. I have been a fool for lesser things. I would do it again and again, until I get it that this isn't helping. Then, like you, I will do what I can know of what will help. I don't know why our paths are so filled with pain. I don't know the answer to that one. But I do know that, like you, I will do my best to tie a knot, to make it better. It isn't wrong to enable. It is wrong to enable from a harmful perspective. These are the distinctions we are making as we heal. Instead of taking it all on, we are taking on what we can while celebrating our own lives. It is a hard thing to know. But once we see through it, there is a strength, a brightness in those of us who trust, and believe. This is the engine that moves the world in a better direction, Recovering. We are not wrong. We are not foolish. We are building good, strong things. New concepts, new thought processes. New ideas of right and wrong, based on what we feel, strong and sure and true, of love. Of the power of it, of the sureness of it. You are right. There is a razor fine line between what is ego and what is real. We are learning, Recovering. Each episode which finds us appalled at what has run wild within us ~ each time we see, accept, and, well, I don't know a better word than heal for what happens, deep inside where no one can see...this small portion of the world for which we are responsible is stronger, better, completed. I swear we send that bright new strength, that completed wholeness, out around us, Recovering. Those we are fortunate to walk this path with are doing the same. All those ripples, sweet and healthy and strong, instead of what might have been. And it matters, Recovering. It matters more than we know or can imagine. We don't know the purpose. We don't know when we have reached an ending, where we are in the process, or even if an ending exists. We are doing what we are here to do. In every moment of our time here, we are doing what we are here to do. There is no medal, no time card, no way to know whether we did rightly or wrongly. You have made a great difference in my path. Somehow, what seemed unremarkable when I struggled alone with it now seems a valid path, a thing worth pursuing. Maybe, that is all we will ever know, Recovering. But if you consider the darkness you have changed, the tiniest spark of sweet, bright light that we may never know we created, but that shines through eternity? That is what is true. That may be the only truth there is. Whether we chose to tie that knot, to try, or let the whole thing fall apart. The strength and compassion in you nourishes the strength, the compassion, the decision to continue, in me. In all of us here, Recovering. No one can know what the tapestry is weaving. But you, and me, and everyone here who is doing the best, the utmost, very best, to make a better thing out of what we were given...that is what it is to be human. You are strong, Recovering, and so the path is not easy. But you are still on the path. You are upright. Others of us are stronger because of you. That is enough. We are as we are, warts and all. And that is enough, and more than enough. That is a miracle, Recovering. A bona fide miracle. I'm pretty full of myself, today. That is part of this journey, too. Freeing ourselves is not an easy thing. It would be way easier to defend, to hunker down in anger or shame. We are not doing that. None of us here is doing that. We are risking, sharing, choosing to shine. Well, I am today, anyway. I might be in a really crummy place again, next week. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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