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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620676" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Here is an interesting thing I just realized. The tears in public when I hardly cry even in private, were required for the healing to happen. For me, tears meant I had lost the one thing I had left to the abuser, meant that my will had been broken. These tears were not overwhelming ~ except that I never cry in public. </p><p></p><p>Maybe one tear in each eye.</p><p></p><p>This was like...a lot of tears in each eye. My nose was even running. </p><p></p><p>It totally sucked. It was the worst crying in public thing I have ever done. I hope this part is over and it never happens, again.</p><p></p><p>I felt so weak, so humiliated. So swollen and ugly. </p><p></p><p>But I think that was a necessary part of my healing. The women I was with (and they were all women) handled it perfectly. Silence, compassion; something about understanding the breaking open and the healing that attends it.</p><p></p><p>I mean, they didn't say that, or anything about my having sprung a leak in lieu of saying good morning.</p><p></p><p>(OH BROTHER!!!)</p><p></p><p>So, I thought I would post about that, as crying in public, being overwhelmed by that need in public, seems to have played its part in both our healing processes.</p><p></p><p>I read a story once by a Russian person. I don't remember the writer's name. I wish I did, then I could share it with you.</p><p></p><p>On a darkened street in Russia, there is a secret door. When you knock in a certain way, the peephole is opened and you are allowed in. It is a very expensive club. There are many round tables in the room. Each table is big enough for one, maybe two people. Each table has a lighted candle in the center. When the prosperous customer is seated, the waiter brings a cutting board, a knife, and an onion. Each of the patrons sits at his table alone in front of the burning candle, slicing the onion until his tears run free. </p><p></p><p>Afterwords, each of the patrons goes home without speaking to the others.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620676, member: 17461"] Here is an interesting thing I just realized. The tears in public when I hardly cry even in private, were required for the healing to happen. For me, tears meant I had lost the one thing I had left to the abuser, meant that my will had been broken. These tears were not overwhelming ~ except that I never cry in public. Maybe one tear in each eye. This was like...a lot of tears in each eye. My nose was even running. It totally sucked. It was the worst crying in public thing I have ever done. I hope this part is over and it never happens, again. I felt so weak, so humiliated. So swollen and ugly. But I think that was a necessary part of my healing. The women I was with (and they were all women) handled it perfectly. Silence, compassion; something about understanding the breaking open and the healing that attends it. I mean, they didn't say that, or anything about my having sprung a leak in lieu of saying good morning. (OH BROTHER!!!) So, I thought I would post about that, as crying in public, being overwhelmed by that need in public, seems to have played its part in both our healing processes. I read a story once by a Russian person. I don't remember the writer's name. I wish I did, then I could share it with you. On a darkened street in Russia, there is a secret door. When you knock in a certain way, the peephole is opened and you are allowed in. It is a very expensive club. There are many round tables in the room. Each table is big enough for one, maybe two people. Each table has a lighted candle in the center. When the prosperous customer is seated, the waiter brings a cutting board, a knife, and an onion. Each of the patrons sits at his table alone in front of the burning candle, slicing the onion until his tears run free. Afterwords, each of the patrons goes home without speaking to the others. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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