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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620697" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Recovering posted to me once that we can tell when we are enabling because we resent the giving.</p><p></p><p>You are right, COM. It does happen by degrees. We didn't wake up one day and begin to enable. The caretaking began when they were little. That is the part both our difficult children and ourselves have to break, now. They needed to rely on themselves even in grade school, even in kindergarten. </p><p></p><p>I was a helicopter mom, too.</p><p></p><p>Only I think I may have been a helicopter mom for all the wrong reasons. I was always so proud of my parenting, my baking, my blah, blah, blah. You could have knocked me over with a feather when this happened.</p><p></p><p>Did I say proud?</p><p></p><p>I meant...arrogant.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>Darn it, yes that's true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is what Joel Osteen says. His sermons have been so helpful to me on this path. It was always there for me. I just never felt the good things, the best things, were mine for the taking.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love this! I feel the sun on my cheeks, on my palms when I read this. I feel it as a little girl. What a special way to view a childhood I see through such darkness. Now? I see myself in this very sunshine, laughing and reaching and having without furtiveness or shame.</p><p></p><p>God is more powerful than my mother, after all.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>A beautiful, strengthening post, COM. </p><p></p><p>I love the imagery of laughing in the sun with palms and hearts innocent and open. There is no expectation of hurt, there. And if the hurtful thing should happen to that child? It would be the hurt that was the wrongness, not the child; never the child.</p><p></p><p>This imagery is perfect for me. I go there, go back there, as a child. Always before, I have envisioned myself as the unseen adult, witnessing and reinterpreting events for a child made utterly powerless. </p><p></p><p>Now, I have this imagery. </p><p></p><p>Love it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620697, member: 17461"] Recovering posted to me once that we can tell when we are enabling because we resent the giving. You are right, COM. It does happen by degrees. We didn't wake up one day and begin to enable. The caretaking began when they were little. That is the part both our difficult children and ourselves have to break, now. They needed to rely on themselves even in grade school, even in kindergarten. I was a helicopter mom, too. Only I think I may have been a helicopter mom for all the wrong reasons. I was always so proud of my parenting, my baking, my blah, blah, blah. You could have knocked me over with a feather when this happened. Did I say proud? I meant...arrogant. Yes. Darn it, yes that's true. That is what Joel Osteen says. His sermons have been so helpful to me on this path. It was always there for me. I just never felt the good things, the best things, were mine for the taking. I love this! I feel the sun on my cheeks, on my palms when I read this. I feel it as a little girl. What a special way to view a childhood I see through such darkness. Now? I see myself in this very sunshine, laughing and reaching and having without furtiveness or shame. God is more powerful than my mother, after all. :O) A beautiful, strengthening post, COM. I love the imagery of laughing in the sun with palms and hearts innocent and open. There is no expectation of hurt, there. And if the hurtful thing should happen to that child? It would be the hurt that was the wrongness, not the child; never the child. This imagery is perfect for me. I go there, go back there, as a child. Always before, I have envisioned myself as the unseen adult, witnessing and reinterpreting events for a child made utterly powerless. Now, I have this imagery. Love it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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