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Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 677382" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>A "temper tantrum" is exactly what it was - an adult version of it, anyway. My daughter is the same. The second she doesn't get her way or feels slighted, she goes straight for the softest, most tender parts to do the most damage. She has shredded me to pieces more times than I can count.</p><p></p><p>It took me a long time to realize it is not me - it is her. That is her way of dealing with the world because she has no other coping skills and this has worked for her for so long she has had no incentive to learn any. When I sat back and looked at it objectively (which is hard bc it is all so personal), I realized I am not the only one she treats this way. I get it the worst - probably a "mother" thing bc I am "expected" to take care of her and make things right how she sees it.</p><p></p><p>Refusing to answer is a huge step - for you and him. A lot of times they will "up the ante" on the viciousness and continued harassment at first bc it has always worked. When it doesn't and they don't get the reaction they want, including "hurting you" for not giving in, it forces them to think through other ways to get what they need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 677382, member: 19905"] A "temper tantrum" is exactly what it was - an adult version of it, anyway. My daughter is the same. The second she doesn't get her way or feels slighted, she goes straight for the softest, most tender parts to do the most damage. She has shredded me to pieces more times than I can count. It took me a long time to realize it is not me - it is her. That is her way of dealing with the world because she has no other coping skills and this has worked for her for so long she has had no incentive to learn any. When I sat back and looked at it objectively (which is hard bc it is all so personal), I realized I am not the only one she treats this way. I get it the worst - probably a "mother" thing bc I am "expected" to take care of her and make things right how she sees it. Refusing to answer is a huge step - for you and him. A lot of times they will "up the ante" on the viciousness and continued harassment at first bc it has always worked. When it doesn't and they don't get the reaction they want, including "hurting you" for not giving in, it forces them to think through other ways to get what they need. [/QUOTE]
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petrified for 23yo son..
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