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Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 677421" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>My daughter acts exactly like her biological father - who walked out of her life at a young age. But he was in her life long enough to have affected her development and from her to learn from him. Mental illness runs in his family. I didn't know that until recently. I never saw that in him - I just saw an addict, but addiction hides the mental illness. It is often why they turn to drugs is to escape those feelings/thoughts they know aren't normal.</p><p></p><p>I spent many moments in her life in awe of how she could be so much like a person she hadn't been around the majority of her life. So I think for her, it is many things. Genetics, the abandonment, the time she spent influenced by him, my inadequacies bc I just saw rebellion instead of deeper issues...and then his return to her life. She seems to have "latched on" and mirrors his behavior. Almost as though she has this, "Oh, this is what we have in common," and idealizes and emulates it. It is very sad.</p><p></p><p>Personalities are made of so many puzzle pieces: genetics, experiences, the people in our life, culture....and some times the pieces just don't come together into a picture that can be recognized or make sense. Only they can rearrange the puzzle pieces and decide what they want the tapestry of their life to be. They have to get past the blame, self pity, refusal to take responsibility, comparisons to others, etc before they can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 677421, member: 19905"] My daughter acts exactly like her biological father - who walked out of her life at a young age. But he was in her life long enough to have affected her development and from her to learn from him. Mental illness runs in his family. I didn't know that until recently. I never saw that in him - I just saw an addict, but addiction hides the mental illness. It is often why they turn to drugs is to escape those feelings/thoughts they know aren't normal. I spent many moments in her life in awe of how she could be so much like a person she hadn't been around the majority of her life. So I think for her, it is many things. Genetics, the abandonment, the time she spent influenced by him, my inadequacies bc I just saw rebellion instead of deeper issues...and then his return to her life. She seems to have "latched on" and mirrors his behavior. Almost as though she has this, "Oh, this is what we have in common," and idealizes and emulates it. It is very sad. Personalities are made of so many puzzle pieces: genetics, experiences, the people in our life, culture....and some times the pieces just don't come together into a picture that can be recognized or make sense. Only they can rearrange the puzzle pieces and decide what they want the tapestry of their life to be. They have to get past the blame, self pity, refusal to take responsibility, comparisons to others, etc before they can. [/QUOTE]
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petrified for 23yo son..
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