I haven't read all of the responses but do not let him blame you for his addiction. By blaming you, he is not accepting the responsibility of his choices and therefore will not feel like he is also responsible for his recovery. He will say that it is something you are supposed to fix since you "caused" it.
Do not let him put that on you! Stop apologizing because that feeds into his being able to blame you instead of accepting the responsibility of getting clean and sober.
Remember the three C's of the 12-step program: You didn't cause this, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
Only your son can decide to get clean and sober. He has to work harder at his recovery than you do.
I finally learned all of this after years of enabling.
~Kathy
