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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 758130" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p><em>I keep praying that I see improvement with my 38 year old daughter but in reality she a user, abusive, cunning, constantly lying. I know all this as absolute truth, I know she acts like a psychopath while manic and I know first hand of all the lives she destroys. I know this as absolute truth yet I keep trying to make some sense in all this.</em></p><p><em>I fall prey into her madness, lies and deceit. I fall prey into her setting me up to fall and I am her prey to use, chew up and spit out.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I am wore out, harmed to the core. Each of her moves when I think I am included or cared about are selfish and cruel. I may have studied mental illness for many years, I watch Youtubes on the subject and I am well aware of the damage yet I keep finding room in my heart to forgive her and want so desperately to have a workable relationship with her. The constant rejection, the constant S and the constant lies are something I try to work with but in reality they do not work and all that happens is I feel deeply abused.</em></p><p><em>So I have to ask myself Why? why do I put myself through all this?</em></p><p><em>On Tuesday night I was on the phone with my daughter trying to make peace with her abusive words and tone, trying hard to have a decent conversation when I get a call on call waiting, I answer it and it is full of static and an odd voice is trying to make words. I could not make out the words but they sounded desperate and as if they were warning me of something. At first I got scared because I thought it was my husband and his plane went down. I got a hold of my husband and he was fine, having a good time in the wilderness... After much prayer I decided I got a call from my guardian angels telling me to cut ties with my own daughter. My daughter's ugly behavior towards me harms my spirit like a death. I feel like my angel guides actually hurt with the amount of S she throws at me.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I went to bed feeling peaceful and protected. I felt as if I was spiritually protected and watched over. I woke up this morning feeling stronger and more clear. I still cry because the situation is so bad but I have a new sense of purpose. I just have so much love to give.. and I do give it to others....</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 758130, member: 22416"] [I]I keep praying that I see improvement with my 38 year old daughter but in reality she a user, abusive, cunning, constantly lying. I know all this as absolute truth, I know she acts like a psychopath while manic and I know first hand of all the lives she destroys. I know this as absolute truth yet I keep trying to make some sense in all this. I fall prey into her madness, lies and deceit. I fall prey into her setting me up to fall and I am her prey to use, chew up and spit out. I am wore out, harmed to the core. Each of her moves when I think I am included or cared about are selfish and cruel. I may have studied mental illness for many years, I watch Youtubes on the subject and I am well aware of the damage yet I keep finding room in my heart to forgive her and want so desperately to have a workable relationship with her. The constant rejection, the constant S and the constant lies are something I try to work with but in reality they do not work and all that happens is I feel deeply abused. So I have to ask myself Why? why do I put myself through all this? On Tuesday night I was on the phone with my daughter trying to make peace with her abusive words and tone, trying hard to have a decent conversation when I get a call on call waiting, I answer it and it is full of static and an odd voice is trying to make words. I could not make out the words but they sounded desperate and as if they were warning me of something. At first I got scared because I thought it was my husband and his plane went down. I got a hold of my husband and he was fine, having a good time in the wilderness... After much prayer I decided I got a call from my guardian angels telling me to cut ties with my own daughter. My daughter's ugly behavior towards me harms my spirit like a death. I feel like my angel guides actually hurt with the amount of S she throws at me. I went to bed feeling peaceful and protected. I felt as if I was spiritually protected and watched over. I woke up this morning feeling stronger and more clear. I still cry because the situation is so bad but I have a new sense of purpose. I just have so much love to give.. and I do give it to others....[/I] [/QUOTE]
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