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<blockquote data-quote="jaeco" data-source="post: 290760" data-attributes="member: 1576"><p>I've still not made it to the detachment section. Yes, I'm late 50s, and I do feel like I deserve a peaceful retirement<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It's good to hear your point of view. My daughter needs your commitment and logic it seems to me. I'm glad of where you are and how you've worked through your issues and you are hopefully empowered by that, and should be. Also, I have trouble dealing with the *fault* of this. I don't think it's my fault for her condition...although I know I contributed, and I don't know that I think it's her fault....but it really is what it is...What I really have a problem with is why is this different than would I treat a physically ill person the way that I must treat her? I can't get a grip on that one. but then again, I struggle with issues just right off the bat of our contact for the day. Like now...she just showed up downstairs...I did know she was coming....I work from home. She's waiting down there for the gas money I mentioned earlier. At first though she'll want to go out and get something to eat. I dont necessarily have a problem with that....often see it as a way to break up my day from working at home, as in going *out to lunch* like I did when I worked outside the home. So anyway, we'll start off fairly pleasantly, sometimes not, have something to eat, then she'll need the money for gas to get to Goodwill. I say no...I usually make the mistake of saying I don't have it which of course she knows I usually do, these small amounts anyway...but if I don't give it to her she'll be well, fine, I'll just sit here all day and the rest of the day will be total hell. Badgering, slamming doors, if she's lying and has gas in the car to get home she'll storm off. I have lost before I even begin. Okay, to the detachment area.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jaeco, post: 290760, member: 1576"] I've still not made it to the detachment section. Yes, I'm late 50s, and I do feel like I deserve a peaceful retirement:) It's good to hear your point of view. My daughter needs your commitment and logic it seems to me. I'm glad of where you are and how you've worked through your issues and you are hopefully empowered by that, and should be. Also, I have trouble dealing with the *fault* of this. I don't think it's my fault for her condition...although I know I contributed, and I don't know that I think it's her fault....but it really is what it is...What I really have a problem with is why is this different than would I treat a physically ill person the way that I must treat her? I can't get a grip on that one. but then again, I struggle with issues just right off the bat of our contact for the day. Like now...she just showed up downstairs...I did know she was coming....I work from home. She's waiting down there for the gas money I mentioned earlier. At first though she'll want to go out and get something to eat. I dont necessarily have a problem with that....often see it as a way to break up my day from working at home, as in going *out to lunch* like I did when I worked outside the home. So anyway, we'll start off fairly pleasantly, sometimes not, have something to eat, then she'll need the money for gas to get to Goodwill. I say no...I usually make the mistake of saying I don't have it which of course she knows I usually do, these small amounts anyway...but if I don't give it to her she'll be well, fine, I'll just sit here all day and the rest of the day will be total hell. Badgering, slamming doors, if she's lying and has gas in the car to get home she'll storm off. I have lost before I even begin. Okay, to the detachment area. [/QUOTE]
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