Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 529252" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>I agree with the others that it is necessary to have your son correctly diagnosed. The key to effective treatment is to provide intervention as soon as possible and the correct diagnosis will (hopefully) unlock the door to necessary supports and services. I know it can be a long drawn out process, I can feel your pain and frustration, but you are moving in the right direction!</p><p></p><p>While you're waiting to take your son to his appointments (the evaluations are usually scheduled months in advance), contact the school where he'll be attending kindergarten. Speak to the principal, sped director and share your concerns. They should be able to set up a full evaluation for your son. Make sure they have him evaluated by all necessary specialists including an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), Occupational Therapist (OT), neuropsychologist, developmental pedi, etc... The school should be able to have him evaluated much faster and most likely has specialists either on board or who they use for this purpose. Once the results are in, they should schedule a meeting to go over the results and set up an IEP based on the findings.</p><p></p><p>Although school staff will evaluate your son, I believe that it is absolutely necessary for you to have your own evaluations too. You can share as much or as little as you want with the school. It's up to you. From personal experience and from what some of the members have shared here, the school evaluations are not as thorough as the ones done privately. In many cases it comes down to budget issues vs. your child's needs. I'm getting ahead of myself and I don't want to confuse or scare you - One step at a time!</p><p></p><p>In many ways, your son's behavior is similar to the behaviors of both my boys when they were around his age. I'm not qualified to offer any opinions about your son's diagnosis, but many developmental and/or mental health issues appear similar on the surface. There are a few things you can try that might make life at home more bearable even before he's diagnosed. As you already know from what you've read, throw parenting as you know it out the window. It just doesn't work!</p><p></p><p>I found that the best way to try to avoid a "meltdown" is if you can find some of the triggers and avoid them. Try not to think in terms of punishment, but instead think in terms of learning experiences. If your son has trouble getting dressed in the mornings, I agree with whoever said it might have something to do with sensory issues, some materials may feel scratchy, make him itch and he might not know how to tell you this. For now, you might have him dress in cotton shirts without tags, pants and shorts made of softer fabrics then denim. Give him a choice of two outfits the night before. Have him pick one, lay it out for him along with his underwear, socks, shoes. In the morning, it'll be easier for him to get himself dressed. </p><p></p><p>Don't give him ultimatums like you can't eat breakfast until you're dressed. Instead you might let him choose between eating first or getting dressed first. He might surprise you and be ready on time! A huge issue for lots of kids with developmental delays, mental health issues is feeling the need to be in control because in reality, they feel so out of control. Hope this makes sense! As long as the end result is the same, getting out the door on time to get to school on time, it really doesn't matter whether he eats or dresses first.</p><p></p><p>The younger of my two sons, difficult child 2, was and is to this day, obsessed with being the best at everything, winning too. For now, until you have appropriate services in place, I would continue to let him "win" as long as you get the desired outcome. Always try to keep in mind that your son is doing the best he can to let you know something is wrong/he needs help, and "melting" is the only way he knows how. For now, it might make life a bit easier if you understand this.</p><p></p><p>I went through some very dark periods while raising my difficult children, when I felt like I was living in HE77, like my home was a prison... I could go on and on and on but I'll stop for now. This is your thread and I don't want to hog it, lol... I wish I had found this site when my children were as young as your son!! It's a great place with lots of wonderful, caring, people. The support here is amazing and I hope you stick around and let us get to "know" you.</p><p></p><p>I hope some of what I've said helps you, but it's only my two cents - Take what you want, discard the rest... Just know I'm thinking of you today... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 529252, member: 3388"] I agree with the others that it is necessary to have your son correctly diagnosed. The key to effective treatment is to provide intervention as soon as possible and the correct diagnosis will (hopefully) unlock the door to necessary supports and services. I know it can be a long drawn out process, I can feel your pain and frustration, but you are moving in the right direction! While you're waiting to take your son to his appointments (the evaluations are usually scheduled months in advance), contact the school where he'll be attending kindergarten. Speak to the principal, sped director and share your concerns. They should be able to set up a full evaluation for your son. Make sure they have him evaluated by all necessary specialists including an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), Occupational Therapist (OT), neuropsychologist, developmental pedi, etc... The school should be able to have him evaluated much faster and most likely has specialists either on board or who they use for this purpose. Once the results are in, they should schedule a meeting to go over the results and set up an IEP based on the findings. Although school staff will evaluate your son, I believe that it is absolutely necessary for you to have your own evaluations too. You can share as much or as little as you want with the school. It's up to you. From personal experience and from what some of the members have shared here, the school evaluations are not as thorough as the ones done privately. In many cases it comes down to budget issues vs. your child's needs. I'm getting ahead of myself and I don't want to confuse or scare you - One step at a time! In many ways, your son's behavior is similar to the behaviors of both my boys when they were around his age. I'm not qualified to offer any opinions about your son's diagnosis, but many developmental and/or mental health issues appear similar on the surface. There are a few things you can try that might make life at home more bearable even before he's diagnosed. As you already know from what you've read, throw parenting as you know it out the window. It just doesn't work! I found that the best way to try to avoid a "meltdown" is if you can find some of the triggers and avoid them. Try not to think in terms of punishment, but instead think in terms of learning experiences. If your son has trouble getting dressed in the mornings, I agree with whoever said it might have something to do with sensory issues, some materials may feel scratchy, make him itch and he might not know how to tell you this. For now, you might have him dress in cotton shirts without tags, pants and shorts made of softer fabrics then denim. Give him a choice of two outfits the night before. Have him pick one, lay it out for him along with his underwear, socks, shoes. In the morning, it'll be easier for him to get himself dressed. Don't give him ultimatums like you can't eat breakfast until you're dressed. Instead you might let him choose between eating first or getting dressed first. He might surprise you and be ready on time! A huge issue for lots of kids with developmental delays, mental health issues is feeling the need to be in control because in reality, they feel so out of control. Hope this makes sense! As long as the end result is the same, getting out the door on time to get to school on time, it really doesn't matter whether he eats or dresses first. The younger of my two sons, difficult child 2, was and is to this day, obsessed with being the best at everything, winning too. For now, until you have appropriate services in place, I would continue to let him "win" as long as you get the desired outcome. Always try to keep in mind that your son is doing the best he can to let you know something is wrong/he needs help, and "melting" is the only way he knows how. For now, it might make life a bit easier if you understand this. I went through some very dark periods while raising my difficult children, when I felt like I was living in HE77, like my home was a prison... I could go on and on and on but I'll stop for now. This is your thread and I don't want to hog it, lol... I wish I had found this site when my children were as young as your son!! It's a great place with lots of wonderful, caring, people. The support here is amazing and I hope you stick around and let us get to "know" you. I hope some of what I've said helps you, but it's only my two cents - Take what you want, discard the rest... Just know I'm thinking of you today... SFR [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please help
Top