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<blockquote data-quote="SmallTownMom" data-source="post: 529310" data-attributes="member: 14555"><p>I have discovered with my 9yr old difficult child that he needs/wants to have control over "everything". I can remeber the complete meltdowns that he had whenever he had to stop whatever activity he was doing and do/go somewhere else. Bedtime was an hour of crying and screaming, morning time was filled with me yelling and nagging for him to hurry up.</p><p>After learing what I have about his need to control his actions, and that he does not transistion well we have implemented a few things in our house. It took almost a year but things are running smoother.</p><p>My difficult child now has a list that he does in the morning before he is permitted any electronics (he is 9 and can read these lists, you could use pictures). We sat down one evening and he helped make these lists. He also has a list for after school and after supper. Now instead of "nagging" him all the time and telling him what he HAS to do, I just say "Hey bud, how is the list coming along?" This gives him the control as to what he is doing on the list, he can go in any order he wants to.</p><p>Like I said the change wasn't overnight, but he goes to bed with no problem. He even says to me "mom it is 8, I am going to bed". There still are days where something else may trigger a meltdown, but we are still learning what all his trigger are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SmallTownMom, post: 529310, member: 14555"] I have discovered with my 9yr old difficult child that he needs/wants to have control over "everything". I can remeber the complete meltdowns that he had whenever he had to stop whatever activity he was doing and do/go somewhere else. Bedtime was an hour of crying and screaming, morning time was filled with me yelling and nagging for him to hurry up. After learing what I have about his need to control his actions, and that he does not transistion well we have implemented a few things in our house. It took almost a year but things are running smoother. My difficult child now has a list that he does in the morning before he is permitted any electronics (he is 9 and can read these lists, you could use pictures). We sat down one evening and he helped make these lists. He also has a list for after school and after supper. Now instead of "nagging" him all the time and telling him what he HAS to do, I just say "Hey bud, how is the list coming along?" This gives him the control as to what he is doing on the list, he can go in any order he wants to. Like I said the change wasn't overnight, but he goes to bed with no problem. He even says to me "mom it is 8, I am going to bed". There still are days where something else may trigger a meltdown, but we are still learning what all his trigger are. [/QUOTE]
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