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<blockquote data-quote="UphillClimbMom" data-source="post: 765646" data-attributes="member: 33473"><p><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="💔" title="Broken heart :broken_heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f494.png" data-shortname=":broken_heart:" />I would guess a little of both<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> but our kids make us that way, crazy that is. I identify with your history although my son is mine by birth and is 23 not 18 very similar as far as behaviors regarding video games and electronics and following rules and boundaries.</p><p></p><p>My son is homeless in Arizona, we live in the Pacific Northwest, he was fired from his work and lost his room and board position, it was all in one. We have similar boundaries, or happy to have him come home, will help him get here with gas money but we have some rules he can't live at home, we pay for rented room and help him get on State insurance so he could get help for his psychiatric issues. He has to get a job, and keep a job and see counseling and attend counseling. For us to continue to help him. His sticking point on not wanting to come home is he does not want the "crutch"of getting help for his mental illness (quotation marks, his.) Our son doesn't have an adult diagnoses, that is why seeking help his one of our to boundaries.</p><p></p><p>I am working, mightily on detaching. I printed the Article on Detachment, have it folded in my pocket or purse and pull it out often. I am also seeking support, starting next week, going to a support group for families with mentally ill family members. I pray nightly a prayer f protecting for my son and any time I think of him during the day, I try to turn my thoughts of worry to ones of love and well wishes to him; I cant say that it is at all very successful in changing my thought pattern but I am consciously working to change my knee jerk thoughts which then turn into continued enabling and enmeshment.</p><p></p><p>I am sticking to my boundaries and think yours sound very reasonable especially because your son is only 18.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here but sorry you or any of have to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UphillClimbMom, post: 765646, member: 33473"] 💔I would guess a little of both:-) but our kids make us that way, crazy that is. I identify with your history although my son is mine by birth and is 23 not 18 very similar as far as behaviors regarding video games and electronics and following rules and boundaries. My son is homeless in Arizona, we live in the Pacific Northwest, he was fired from his work and lost his room and board position, it was all in one. We have similar boundaries, or happy to have him come home, will help him get here with gas money but we have some rules he can't live at home, we pay for rented room and help him get on State insurance so he could get help for his psychiatric issues. He has to get a job, and keep a job and see counseling and attend counseling. For us to continue to help him. His sticking point on not wanting to come home is he does not want the "crutch"of getting help for his mental illness (quotation marks, his.) Our son doesn't have an adult diagnoses, that is why seeking help his one of our to boundaries. I am working, mightily on detaching. I printed the Article on Detachment, have it folded in my pocket or purse and pull it out often. I am also seeking support, starting next week, going to a support group for families with mentally ill family members. I pray nightly a prayer f protecting for my son and any time I think of him during the day, I try to turn my thoughts of worry to ones of love and well wishes to him; I cant say that it is at all very successful in changing my thought pattern but I am consciously working to change my knee jerk thoughts which then turn into continued enabling and enmeshment. I am sticking to my boundaries and think yours sound very reasonable especially because your son is only 18. I am glad you are here but sorry you or any of have to be. [/QUOTE]
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