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Parent Emeritus
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<blockquote data-quote="laugh" data-source="post: 765788" data-attributes="member: 31976"><p>I can feel your pain in that description. It may be more painful to read this response as I feel your son is partly correct - you are being too controlling. You are clearly highly analytical and have a strong sense of right and wrong - some call this a 'green' personality. Your son is directive and cares little for details - a 'red' personality. Part of his success with attracting women might be this personality trait. Teenage girls are often drawn to boys who play by their own rules. Due to his developmental issues, you don't want to treat him as an adult, which is understandable. However, at 18, if he begins to define a world without you, you may have to accept it.</p><p></p><p>To put it in context, when I was that age, I lived common law and worked full-time. Did my parents approve? No. Did I have the maturity to make those decisions? Not really. However, it was time to make my own mistakes. Eventually, I came round to my parents' viewpoint and ended the relationship and returned to school.</p><p></p><p>It is time to break free for you both. Being free means that it's time to wean him from your purse. However, I wouldn't make it punitive. Let him know that you respect his right to choose and it's time for you to phase out your funding. Personally, if he's respectful with the charges, I might make the mobile phone an exception. It's symbolic - if he wants your help, he can call. If he wants to return home, that's also ok. Then, house rules apply. As a parent of an 'adult' of any age, you still have the right to set rules of behaviour for conduct inside your home.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck and, remember, it seems terrible now, but things will get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="laugh, post: 765788, member: 31976"] I can feel your pain in that description. It may be more painful to read this response as I feel your son is partly correct - you are being too controlling. You are clearly highly analytical and have a strong sense of right and wrong - some call this a 'green' personality. Your son is directive and cares little for details - a 'red' personality. Part of his success with attracting women might be this personality trait. Teenage girls are often drawn to boys who play by their own rules. Due to his developmental issues, you don't want to treat him as an adult, which is understandable. However, at 18, if he begins to define a world without you, you may have to accept it. To put it in context, when I was that age, I lived common law and worked full-time. Did my parents approve? No. Did I have the maturity to make those decisions? Not really. However, it was time to make my own mistakes. Eventually, I came round to my parents' viewpoint and ended the relationship and returned to school. It is time to break free for you both. Being free means that it's time to wean him from your purse. However, I wouldn't make it punitive. Let him know that you respect his right to choose and it's time for you to phase out your funding. Personally, if he's respectful with the charges, I might make the mobile phone an exception. It's symbolic - if he wants your help, he can call. If he wants to return home, that's also ok. Then, house rules apply. As a parent of an 'adult' of any age, you still have the right to set rules of behaviour for conduct inside your home. I wish you luck and, remember, it seems terrible now, but things will get better. [/QUOTE]
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