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Substance Abuse
PLONK! - difficult child came home drunk....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 49694" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>MB, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> If he chooses to not come home, you then have the option of whether or not you care to let him come home. He's "emancipated his homestead" if he doesn't come home at the time you have given him to be home.</div></div></p><p></p><p>Actually, this is the grey area the folks at Juvie were talking about. Until he's 18, he can't emancipate himself, nor can I emancipate him (unless I turn custody of him over to the state). Until he's 18, if he's gone and refusing to come home, he's a runaway - but he's still <strong>MY</strong> runaway.</p><p></p><p>That "abandoning the homestead" thing is after he turns 18, and involves his actively leaving the home to set up living somewhere else. Again, going on a three-day hookah binge at the local pothead hangout doesn't count.</p><p></p><p>It's a pickle. And from the perspective of the PD and the folks at Juvie, if he won't respect the family rules and his parents, then the only thing left is to box him in, and call the PD every time he breaks out of the box.</p><p></p><p><u>Curfew</u>: 11:00pm. If you're late, and haven't called for permission, and you don't answer your phone, then you get reported as a runaway.</p><p></p><p><u>Substance Abuse</u>: You will not bring any controlled or otherwise illegal substances into my house, onto my property, or use them around any member of my family. You will consent to random drug tests, and if you test positive then you get reported to the police. If you come home intoxicated in any way, we call the police.</p><p></p><p>That's the box. He can't stay out, he can't ignore his phone, and he can't use drugs, because all those roads lead to downtown podunk's juvie facility. If there's no other choice, that's the only one left while he's 17.</p><p></p><p>When he turns 18, then it gets fuzzy - too fuzzy for me to completely understand. Can't report him as a runaway, but can't make him move out as long as he's in school, either. I can enforce rules <em>in</em> my house (drugs, conduct, intoxication, etc..), but don't know if I can enforce rules on his conduct <em>outside</em> my house.</p><p></p><p>After 18, if he's still in school and acting out, then I can either put draconian rules in place to make him leave on his own, get him arrested and put into big-boy jail for his actions, or go to court and file for legal emancipation from my child (where he'll probably still end up in jail). Regardless, though, all three options lead to the front door, where he gets introduced him to the wide world of reality (without the backing or support of his family).</p><p></p><p>It just plain sucks. I need some time to digest all this and decide what to do, but there's only two choices: Come down now, while he's 17, or wait until he's 18, and then let him deal with the adult consequences of his actions.</p><p></p><p>I'll figure it out - I have a week or so to do it.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 49694, member: 3579"] MB, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> If he chooses to not come home, you then have the option of whether or not you care to let him come home. He's "emancipated his homestead" if he doesn't come home at the time you have given him to be home.</div></div> Actually, this is the grey area the folks at Juvie were talking about. Until he's 18, he can't emancipate himself, nor can I emancipate him (unless I turn custody of him over to the state). Until he's 18, if he's gone and refusing to come home, he's a runaway - but he's still [b]MY[/b] runaway. That "abandoning the homestead" thing is after he turns 18, and involves his actively leaving the home to set up living somewhere else. Again, going on a three-day hookah binge at the local pothead hangout doesn't count. It's a pickle. And from the perspective of the PD and the folks at Juvie, if he won't respect the family rules and his parents, then the only thing left is to box him in, and call the PD every time he breaks out of the box. <u>Curfew</u>: 11:00pm. If you're late, and haven't called for permission, and you don't answer your phone, then you get reported as a runaway. <u>Substance Abuse</u>: You will not bring any controlled or otherwise illegal substances into my house, onto my property, or use them around any member of my family. You will consent to random drug tests, and if you test positive then you get reported to the police. If you come home intoxicated in any way, we call the police. That's the box. He can't stay out, he can't ignore his phone, and he can't use drugs, because all those roads lead to downtown podunk's juvie facility. If there's no other choice, that's the only one left while he's 17. When he turns 18, then it gets fuzzy - too fuzzy for me to completely understand. Can't report him as a runaway, but can't make him move out as long as he's in school, either. I can enforce rules [i]in[/i] my house (drugs, conduct, intoxication, etc..), but don't know if I can enforce rules on his conduct [i]outside[/i] my house. After 18, if he's still in school and acting out, then I can either put draconian rules in place to make him leave on his own, get him arrested and put into big-boy jail for his actions, or go to court and file for legal emancipation from my child (where he'll probably still end up in jail). Regardless, though, all three options lead to the front door, where he gets introduced him to the wide world of reality (without the backing or support of his family). It just plain sucks. I need some time to digest all this and decide what to do, but there's only two choices: Come down now, while he's 17, or wait until he's 18, and then let him deal with the adult consequences of his actions. I'll figure it out - I have a week or so to do it. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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