Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Pondering Dude
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 177576" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Starbie - I think we should just rent a double for Dude and thank you. We could tag team supervise. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>thank you's in the same boat. I've worried and worried over this because I'm dealing with a kid whose logic is goofy at best but at the same time he adamantly refuses, repeatedly, to do anything to improve his lot. Doesn't participate in therapy and has now decided that there isn't a doggone thing wrong with him, he's not bipolar, his logic is right as rain, and he's not applying for SSI because he's "fine".</p><p> </p><p>Job? Nope. Is staff supposed to be facilitating? Yep. thank you misses appts with job coach, blows off job interviews. Short of holding his hand and dragging him in, there's nothing to be done.</p><p> </p><p>Depressed? Yep. But, and this is just my take on it with thank you, it's a vicious cycle that starts with his underlying mental illness but is compounded by his utter lack of investment in making things better. Toss in some self-medication and then refusal to go to a job interview because he won't pass the pee test and .... voila, deeper depression.</p><p> </p><p>His plan? At 18, he'll get an apartment and a job. Not sure how, being a dropout etc. He won't listen to anyone, thinks it's all just going to magically appear. Um... ok.</p><p> </p><p>by the way, it's still all my fault. </p><p> </p><p>I know Dude has some heavy potential consequences hanging over his head, Star, but I guess my question is this.... After umpteen years of therapy and treatment and being walked through how to do things the right way, do you think he's capable of doing it? Not will he or won't he, but is he capable? And will you be able to keep from rescuing him should those consequences come down on him because he's refusing to do what he's supposed to be doing? </p><p> </p><p>I can't answer those for you. For me? thank you's capable. He won't, and yes his mental illness plays into it, but for heaven's sake.... I'm tired of dragging this dehydrated mule to the water and watching him turn his nose up!! Absolutely, I am done being SuperMom to the rescue. </p><p> </p><p>If he doesn't start stepping up to the plate now, Star, and start taking responsibility for his own life, when will he? I guess I'm a pessimist, but I know when I try to anticipate what is in thank you's future, it's not pretty at all. I think the *only* way thank you is going to get a craniorectal reversal, admit he's got problems, and accept help *from others* (i.e. not us) is when he hits absolute cold hard rock bottom.</p><p> </p><p>I know the fear you feel when he's talking about not caring - there's not enough Prilosec in the world to relieve that gut pain. What I think both of our boys is missing is that they have it in their power to make things better. It will take effort and committment and perseverence. It will take getting up off their behinds and being proactive. I can't model it anymore for him, it cannot be taught/preached anymore in therapy. My son knows what he needs to do, he simply refuses. That leaves me zilch to work with.</p><p> </p><p>Just my 2 cents hon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 177576, member: 8"] Starbie - I think we should just rent a double for Dude and thank you. We could tag team supervise. ;) thank you's in the same boat. I've worried and worried over this because I'm dealing with a kid whose logic is goofy at best but at the same time he adamantly refuses, repeatedly, to do anything to improve his lot. Doesn't participate in therapy and has now decided that there isn't a doggone thing wrong with him, he's not bipolar, his logic is right as rain, and he's not applying for SSI because he's "fine". Job? Nope. Is staff supposed to be facilitating? Yep. thank you misses appts with job coach, blows off job interviews. Short of holding his hand and dragging him in, there's nothing to be done. Depressed? Yep. But, and this is just my take on it with thank you, it's a vicious cycle that starts with his underlying mental illness but is compounded by his utter lack of investment in making things better. Toss in some self-medication and then refusal to go to a job interview because he won't pass the pee test and .... voila, deeper depression. His plan? At 18, he'll get an apartment and a job. Not sure how, being a dropout etc. He won't listen to anyone, thinks it's all just going to magically appear. Um... ok. by the way, it's still all my fault. I know Dude has some heavy potential consequences hanging over his head, Star, but I guess my question is this.... After umpteen years of therapy and treatment and being walked through how to do things the right way, do you think he's capable of doing it? Not will he or won't he, but is he capable? And will you be able to keep from rescuing him should those consequences come down on him because he's refusing to do what he's supposed to be doing? I can't answer those for you. For me? thank you's capable. He won't, and yes his mental illness plays into it, but for heaven's sake.... I'm tired of dragging this dehydrated mule to the water and watching him turn his nose up!! Absolutely, I am done being SuperMom to the rescue. If he doesn't start stepping up to the plate now, Star, and start taking responsibility for his own life, when will he? I guess I'm a pessimist, but I know when I try to anticipate what is in thank you's future, it's not pretty at all. I think the *only* way thank you is going to get a craniorectal reversal, admit he's got problems, and accept help *from others* (i.e. not us) is when he hits absolute cold hard rock bottom. I know the fear you feel when he's talking about not caring - there's not enough Prilosec in the world to relieve that gut pain. What I think both of our boys is missing is that they have it in their power to make things better. It will take effort and committment and perseverence. It will take getting up off their behinds and being proactive. I can't model it anymore for him, it cannot be taught/preached anymore in therapy. My son knows what he needs to do, he simply refuses. That leaves me zilch to work with. Just my 2 cents hon. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Pondering Dude
Top
