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Positive thoughts about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 427362" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I think it bothers me because it goes against every coping skill I've been taught .. namely, detachment... to deal with my difficult children. <em>"Accept the things I cannot change."</em> An adult with an untreated personality disorder cannot be taught to problem solve and collaborate. An adult with a untreated drug problem cannot be taught that, either. Not when each of those adults are in full blown denial of their problems, are refusing help, and have indicated no desire to change their behavior. That is what many of us here in PE are dealing with. We've learned to cope by detaching with love ... we do want to think positively about our kids, but we've also learned to "hope for the best, but plan for the worst." We offer support when the choices they are making are healthy ones, but we maintain strong boundaries when their choices are ones that hurt us, manipulate us, cause us extreme emotional distress, or even put us in danger. It's not just a matter of consequences for our difficult children.... it's a matter of survival for <u>us</u>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 427362, member: 1157"] I think it bothers me because it goes against every coping skill I've been taught .. namely, detachment... to deal with my difficult children. [I]"Accept the things I cannot change."[/I] An adult with an untreated personality disorder cannot be taught to problem solve and collaborate. An adult with a untreated drug problem cannot be taught that, either. Not when each of those adults are in full blown denial of their problems, are refusing help, and have indicated no desire to change their behavior. That is what many of us here in PE are dealing with. We've learned to cope by detaching with love ... we do want to think positively about our kids, but we've also learned to "hope for the best, but plan for the worst." We offer support when the choices they are making are healthy ones, but we maintain strong boundaries when their choices are ones that hurt us, manipulate us, cause us extreme emotional distress, or even put us in danger. It's not just a matter of consequences for our difficult children.... it's a matter of survival for [U]us[/U]. [/QUOTE]
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