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Parent Emeritus
Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 700646" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>Even, thank you for writing from the perspective of a sibling. Most of the accounts of difficult relationships on this site are written from the perspective of the parent, and I think it is important to recognize how one child in a family can really change the dynamics of how everyone relates.</p><p>You want a normal relationship with your parents, particularly your mother. I would wager that since your mother is in the social sciences field, she almost can't help herself from trying to fix your brother. She probably thinks she is performing triage, i.e., the sickest gets the most attention.</p><p>Unfortunately, it sounds like the more you point out how your mother's rescue is not really helping your brother to mature, the more your mother is going to see YOU as not participating in his getting better! She is spending so much energy trying to fix him that anyone getting in the way is probably perceived as being disloyal to the family.</p><p>It sounds like your parents have hunkered down and are doing their best to avoid conflict with your brother. Let's hope they wise up before something bad happens.</p><p>I wish you peace and happiness, you are doing the best you can. It sounds like you have a supportive husband. Keep posting, others will chime in.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 700646, member: 20814"] Even, thank you for writing from the perspective of a sibling. Most of the accounts of difficult relationships on this site are written from the perspective of the parent, and I think it is important to recognize how one child in a family can really change the dynamics of how everyone relates. You want a normal relationship with your parents, particularly your mother. I would wager that since your mother is in the social sciences field, she almost can't help herself from trying to fix your brother. She probably thinks she is performing triage, i.e., the sickest gets the most attention. Unfortunately, it sounds like the more you point out how your mother's rescue is not really helping your brother to mature, the more your mother is going to see YOU as not participating in his getting better! She is spending so much energy trying to fix him that anyone getting in the way is probably perceived as being disloyal to the family. It sounds like your parents have hunkered down and are doing their best to avoid conflict with your brother. Let's hope they wise up before something bad happens. I wish you peace and happiness, you are doing the best you can. It sounds like you have a supportive husband. Keep posting, others will chime in. [/QUOTE]
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Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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