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<blockquote data-quote="Billiesue" data-source="post: 713008" data-attributes="member: 21852"><p>Vanessa, Sounds like you are a really good mother. I think it is great he bought his own car. My parents bought all their 4 grandsons a vehicle. Not a new one but one that was safe and that they wouldn't be ashamed of. I think I raised my sons like I was raised. My parents didn't expect a lot out of me and gave me all they could. They were far from well off. Same with me. But I never had these problems. My husband has always required much more of his children, my stepdaughters, than I ever did. They are great girls. I guilt myself a lot over it. But my younger son doesn't have these issues. The statement you made, "I gave my son too much freedom thinking he will be a wise and grateful son, " hits home. He is not grateful it seems. He is angry I have taken it away. I have always made my children a priority in my life. I feel like their Dad is probably thrilled he is doing me this way. Because my younger son stopped seeing him for 3 years. But this is totally different reasons. My younger son would call me upset when he was 11 or 12. Their Dad was angry when they didn't want to spend more time over there and wouldn't tell his lawyer they did. He told my younger son to quit being a "mama's boy." Their Dad just says to me, "What were you doing when you were 18?" I assured him it was nothing like what our older child has been doing. Then he wanted to know if I would give him the graduation invitations I had ordered so that our kid could get money to go to the beach. I said, " You really want him to go to the beach with this going on?" I just don't understand his way of thinking. Most of what was found was at Dad's because his room was always so messy over there. But again, I am guilty of cleaning my kids room. He found bottles of what we think was synthetic urine in his room. Unbelievably and I am ashamed to say his explanation for that was, " At night if I don't want to have to get up to go to the bathroom, I just pee in a bottle." Really?? I can assure you he wasn't raised that way. Of course I told him that was total BS. Anyway, I assume the worse because I feel like if he was doing well, he would come home and ask for a drug test to prove his innocence to get his car back. SWOT gives great advice and says not to dwell on him and his choices. I am having a hard time doing this. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up. Today has been a hard day and I'm sorry for the rant, but seems to be constantly on my mind today. Thanks for listening or reading. I appreciate your reply.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Billiesue, post: 713008, member: 21852"] Vanessa, Sounds like you are a really good mother. I think it is great he bought his own car. My parents bought all their 4 grandsons a vehicle. Not a new one but one that was safe and that they wouldn't be ashamed of. I think I raised my sons like I was raised. My parents didn't expect a lot out of me and gave me all they could. They were far from well off. Same with me. But I never had these problems. My husband has always required much more of his children, my stepdaughters, than I ever did. They are great girls. I guilt myself a lot over it. But my younger son doesn't have these issues. The statement you made, "I gave my son too much freedom thinking he will be a wise and grateful son, " hits home. He is not grateful it seems. He is angry I have taken it away. I have always made my children a priority in my life. I feel like their Dad is probably thrilled he is doing me this way. Because my younger son stopped seeing him for 3 years. But this is totally different reasons. My younger son would call me upset when he was 11 or 12. Their Dad was angry when they didn't want to spend more time over there and wouldn't tell his lawyer they did. He told my younger son to quit being a "mama's boy." Their Dad just says to me, "What were you doing when you were 18?" I assured him it was nothing like what our older child has been doing. Then he wanted to know if I would give him the graduation invitations I had ordered so that our kid could get money to go to the beach. I said, " You really want him to go to the beach with this going on?" I just don't understand his way of thinking. Most of what was found was at Dad's because his room was always so messy over there. But again, I am guilty of cleaning my kids room. He found bottles of what we think was synthetic urine in his room. Unbelievably and I am ashamed to say his explanation for that was, " At night if I don't want to have to get up to go to the bathroom, I just pee in a bottle." Really?? I can assure you he wasn't raised that way. Of course I told him that was total BS. Anyway, I assume the worse because I feel like if he was doing well, he would come home and ask for a drug test to prove his innocence to get his car back. SWOT gives great advice and says not to dwell on him and his choices. I am having a hard time doing this. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up. Today has been a hard day and I'm sorry for the rant, but seems to be constantly on my mind today. Thanks for listening or reading. I appreciate your reply. [/QUOTE]
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