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POW/hostage, a Normal or weird Childhood games?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 366570" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It is NOT a normal game. It has serious tones of power and control. When the girls are tickled as torture there IS a sexual tone to the game. MANY kids are tickled until the submit to various things, usually abuse. While tickling seems harmless on the surface, everyone reacts differently to it. I have an uncle who used to play "Tickle Monster" with me because I "looked so cute" when he did it. It HURT. The first few seconds it seemed like it was all in fun but NOTHING I could do would get him to stop. Not until the day I bit him hard enough to draw blood. My Gma was there and had told him several times to stop. As in many other things, he ignored her. When my mom came to pick me up she found all of us very upset. Gma was upset that Uncle would not stop, Uncle was FURIOUS that I bit him, and had tried to spank me (it was the early 70s and that was the usual punishment for a kid at that time, though NOT from my mother), and I was angry and hurt because he wouldn't stop and then tried to spank me. I didn't get spanked by him because I told him if he tried I would bite him again. Uncle and Gma were told that if he ever tickled me again it would be the last time he ever saw us, and if Gma allowed it she wouldn't be able to have us over with-o our parents there to supervise.</p><p></p><p>Kids DO find creative ways to amuse themselves and each other, but pretending to torture anyone isn't fun. It just isn't. The game will change to the point that the same kid or kids will be the usual captors and others will be the usual victims. It does teach the kids that it is OK to make someone a victim. When kids play cowboys and indians they battle but are generally equals. With a POW game the players are NOT equal, simply cannot be. Kids learn by playing. That is why they play house, dolls, barbies, hot wheels, etc.. It is not okay for them to learn to be victims. This is what the game is doing. When they pretend to torture a prisoner they are learning to hurt another person. </p><p></p><p>It MIGHT be different if they were not truly tying each other up. That completely puts the victim at their mercy. If the captor doesn't want to stop, or to let the victim go, there is virtually NOTHING the victim can do about it. This is just totally unsafe. What would happen if there was a fire or other emergency? The kids would likely not remember the tied up person or not realize that the person could not escape. It would not only put the victim in danger, it would put a fireman or other adult in great danger because they would have to go in and rescue the victim. While the odds of a problem like that happening are slim, it is still a risk. </p><p></p><p>Have you spoken with other parents about this? You really MUST speak to ALL the parents. Let them know that the kids have been playing this, complete with tying people up and pretending to torture them. Let them know that you don't think it is healthy and are making them play something else. Ask that if the kids are at their home and are playing this game that either the parents stop the game or send your kids home. </p><p></p><p>If I found out my kids were playing this at someone's house and the parents knew I would be furious. What would you have thought if you found out your child was at someone's house and got tied to a pole?? </p><p></p><p>The game is clearly escalating from an interesting idea to something more because a child brought over more rope so that more people could be tied up. It is not a good sign.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 366570, member: 1233"] It is NOT a normal game. It has serious tones of power and control. When the girls are tickled as torture there IS a sexual tone to the game. MANY kids are tickled until the submit to various things, usually abuse. While tickling seems harmless on the surface, everyone reacts differently to it. I have an uncle who used to play "Tickle Monster" with me because I "looked so cute" when he did it. It HURT. The first few seconds it seemed like it was all in fun but NOTHING I could do would get him to stop. Not until the day I bit him hard enough to draw blood. My Gma was there and had told him several times to stop. As in many other things, he ignored her. When my mom came to pick me up she found all of us very upset. Gma was upset that Uncle would not stop, Uncle was FURIOUS that I bit him, and had tried to spank me (it was the early 70s and that was the usual punishment for a kid at that time, though NOT from my mother), and I was angry and hurt because he wouldn't stop and then tried to spank me. I didn't get spanked by him because I told him if he tried I would bite him again. Uncle and Gma were told that if he ever tickled me again it would be the last time he ever saw us, and if Gma allowed it she wouldn't be able to have us over with-o our parents there to supervise. Kids DO find creative ways to amuse themselves and each other, but pretending to torture anyone isn't fun. It just isn't. The game will change to the point that the same kid or kids will be the usual captors and others will be the usual victims. It does teach the kids that it is OK to make someone a victim. When kids play cowboys and indians they battle but are generally equals. With a POW game the players are NOT equal, simply cannot be. Kids learn by playing. That is why they play house, dolls, barbies, hot wheels, etc.. It is not okay for them to learn to be victims. This is what the game is doing. When they pretend to torture a prisoner they are learning to hurt another person. It MIGHT be different if they were not truly tying each other up. That completely puts the victim at their mercy. If the captor doesn't want to stop, or to let the victim go, there is virtually NOTHING the victim can do about it. This is just totally unsafe. What would happen if there was a fire or other emergency? The kids would likely not remember the tied up person or not realize that the person could not escape. It would not only put the victim in danger, it would put a fireman or other adult in great danger because they would have to go in and rescue the victim. While the odds of a problem like that happening are slim, it is still a risk. Have you spoken with other parents about this? You really MUST speak to ALL the parents. Let them know that the kids have been playing this, complete with tying people up and pretending to torture them. Let them know that you don't think it is healthy and are making them play something else. Ask that if the kids are at their home and are playing this game that either the parents stop the game or send your kids home. If I found out my kids were playing this at someone's house and the parents knew I would be furious. What would you have thought if you found out your child was at someone's house and got tied to a pole?? The game is clearly escalating from an interesting idea to something more because a child brought over more rope so that more people could be tied up. It is not a good sign. [/QUOTE]
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